


The scent of a flower

by DriverVelvet



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: !END FOR TAGS ON CHAPTER 5! Please, !TAGS FOR CHAPTER 5 ONLY! READ AND BE CAREFUL!, !TAGS FOR CHAPTER 6!, !end for tags on chapter 6!, Abandonment Issues, Aftercare, Age Difference, Angst, Angst in some chapters, Boss Ben Solo, Brat Rey, Controlled Orgasm, Dom/sub, Dominant Ben, Edging, Emotional Abuse, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Family friends to lovers, Grooming, Heir Ben Solo, High-tension, Hitachi - Freeform, Intern Rey, Intern/Boss Relationship, M/M, Mentions of alcohol, Modern AU, Modern AU Reylo, Multi, Oral, POV Rey (Star Wars), Physical Abuse, Restraints, Rey Needs A Hug, Rey Solo, Sexual Abuse, Shibari, Smut, Student/teacher relationship, Suicide, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Vaginal Sex, Very Mild Daddy Kink, Will Get Very Smutty, age gap, be careful, college student rey, slight degradation, that's the most triggering chapter, unhealthy bdsm, very light daddy kink, will get angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:07:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 31,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24844297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DriverVelvet/pseuds/DriverVelvet
Summary: “Let’s get some rules straight.” His voice had dropped down an octave, making her legs weak. She would very much like for him to straighten her out alright. “I don’t know how you will manage with your…” he looked at her in order to find the right words, to which she found herself seeking to hold onto the desk for support. “lack of transportation, but you will be here at 8 am sharp. The working day starts at 9. I know that the interns are usually required to come at 9, but you are no regular intern, right? You’re my intern, so you’ll be here at 8.”Or: The one where dominant boss Ben finally meets his match in Rey.
Relationships: Kylo Ren & Rey, Kylo Ren/Rey, Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey/Ben Solo
Comments: 45
Kudos: 194





	1. "A 24-hour emergency"

**Author's Note:**

> The fic has its own playlist so I'm just attaching it below for anyone who reads with music like me:  
> [Sexy playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5nvC3ro3zO2oAjAB5sFB9f?si=Eni2lZVbSr-msxBP12STOg)

Rey was a bad sister. She could tell you that much as the infinite little moan escaped her lips, trying to be as silent as humanly possible and not wake her eight-year-old brother in the next room. But instead of being considerate over the fact it’s two in the morning, the only thing filling her head were the sounds of the Hitachi wand between her small legs and the sea of inappropriate thoughts about him. She knew this is the one thing no self-respectful person would do considering they met six hours ago, but she couldn’t sleep. Not after what he told her.

Of course, this was not what was supposed to happen when Rey agreed to work in “O.S Corp.” The owners of one of the biggest companies, Leia Organa and Han Solo or the Solo’s for short were close family friends of the Johnson’s for as long as she could remember and also one of the most influential families in the country. Rey never quite understood how such a family ended up being so close to hers, but she also didn’t care enough to ever hear the story. All she knew was that Leia had asked if Rey knew anyone interested in having a summer job as an intern, Rey knew someone and that someone was her, so the spot was filled quite fast. The same couldn’t be said for the aching pain between her legs. 

The vibrations, put on medium, weren’t enough to fulfil the role of his hands, which could probably hug her thighs and keep her in place, nor his mouth that she imagined could devour her whole if he wanted to. And for sure nothing could replace the image of his piercing dark eyes, that closely followed each of her movements, quietly and merciless as she stumbled over her words and let her to ending up like this – not having bothered to even take off her underwear. She wanted to just beg him to look at her like that as he rearranged her insides while calling her a “good little girl”. If he said that, she would totally be down with being treated as his little girl. If only Ben Solo would do any of these things, relieve the tight knot in her stomach that just becomes tighter every day she sees him, but he won’t, so Rey opted for the second-best thing. 

All the fantasies, scenarios, positions he could take her from, hit at once, her hands shakily turning the volume of the vibrations from medium to high as her body starts shaking and just for a minute the knot untangles as the orgasm spreads through her body, her toes curl, her hand is no longer able to hold onto the wand tightly but still somehow does in order to ride the hot waves and with one last breath “Ben” the high slowly dies off. She doesn’t find the strength to do anything else than to just look at the ceiling, panting hard. The embarrassment of having said his name out loud finally settles in, her cheeks flushing in bright red.

Rey knows she’ll have to see him tomorrow at work. The worst part about it is that it took her approximately four orgasms to relieve the pain from the butterflies in her stomach and she just knows they’ll be back tomorrow, first thing in the morning when she’ll have to face him as he gives her first tasks on the job.

Ben Solo is an unreadable individual. Maybe if he resembled one of his parents, even a little, she would’ve been able to at least guess, but he doesn’t, not even close.

Leia Organa is a small woman, that rules with an iron fist. Despite that, in all the years that Rey has known her never once has she heard the woman raise her voice to anyone. Anyone could tell you that Leia’s nickname in the business field is the “General” – a raging storm for any opponent and a mother figure for anyone under her command. Combining the wisdom she offers, being absorbed instantly by everyone and anyone it comes in touch with, her patience that Rey has known her for since she was a child when Leia would always offer to play with her, without showing any signs of displeasure or annoyance, despite the tea parties taking over half an hour, and the kindness she shows to the world by constantly donating her time, resources and people to her numerous non-profit organizations, made Leia Organa into one of the most unanimously beloved people she knew.

See now Han, Han is another story. Easily riled up and smart-mouthed, Han Solo is a handful for anyone who doesn’t like him and anyone who does like him in fact. A rare sight in the city, Han travels the country to check on the production of their product lines, searching for new opportunities on the market or in court, fighting for the latest patent. Unlike Leia who always taught Rey to be in touch with her feminine side, Han taught Rey all that he knew about beating down an asshole, physically and mentally, to always trust a dog more than a human, especially if that dog is Chewwie, the Solo’s really big, really fluffy dog-bear, and how to repair every object in the house so that, as he says: “You would never have to trust anyone with your own home.” Han was also the one who taught Rey the whole swear dictionary when she was around seven, so ever since then she developed a smart and sneaky mouth.

The thing is, as close as she was with his parents, Rey’s personal connection to Ben was as good as none. By the time she consciously remembers all the Solo’s visits whether it was at their mansion or the small, but incredibly cozy Johnson’s apartment, Ben had already been sent off to an elite boarding school for gifted children. She grew up with stories of his achievements at high school, then college, his three master’s degrees, then about his PhD. Her parents always spoke warmly about him given they knew him as a child, so when Rey was preparing for the job she was happy to find out she will finally meet Ben properly although the setting would be more formal than she would prefer. 

Little did she know that the image she had created of a warm, under 6’ foot copy of Han and Leia was nothing with what she was presented with earlier today.

Rey had gotten up early, prepared herself by opting for a cute denim skirt, a white blouse with puffed sleeves and almost wore her black Docs but last minute changed them to white ballet flats with lace ribbons to be tied around the ankle. She wanted to look presentable even if it’s not an official workday and there was hardly anyone in the building according to Leia.

Her mom was nice enough to drive her to the “O.S” Headquarters since she never got around to getting her driver’s license. Some part because she believed in sustainability and some part because she just didn’t want to, and it just seemed like too much work. When they arrived, the parking was packed thanks to the very nice warm afternoon and the fact everyone was out. They still managed to find a spot and make it in time. At the main entrance of the glass skyscraper that was the HQ, Leia greeted them with a huge smile on her face and hugs. 

“Someone has combed their hair.”

The remark was accurate given that Rey preferred her hair in a more of a ‘bed hair’ state. She just liked it that way. But for today at least she had the decency to comb it and tie an upper section in the back, leaving all the baby hairs to blow around in the summer breeze. 

“I did, aunt Leia. You like it?” 

Her mom looked sternly at her. Rey immediately changed her posture, coughed lightly and correct herself. 

“Thank you, Ms. Organa for the compliment.” 

Leia laughed wholeheartedly throwing cheerful daggers at Rey’s mom. 

“Seriously? You’re going to make her be formal in front of me? Johnson get a grip, the last thing you did when we were twenty-two is call your boss by their last name. Rey, never call me that. It makes me feel so old and as far as I am concerned, I’m not that old. And yes, I like it, it opens up your face beautifully.” Rey didn’t notice how Leia grabbed her by the hand, “I will keep her for dinner and then I’ll have Han will bring her back.” and walked in the building, leaving Rey’s mom shaking her head in disbelief.

The interior of the place was very modern and minimalistic with mostly white walls, black floor with small white specks here and there and black wooden wall pieces behind the secretary’s desks had pale yellow and blue LED lights behind them. Everything looked especially chic to the point Rey couldn’t help but notice how maybe her appearance was a little bit too childish for this setting.

The elevators were big enough to fit ten people comfortably and there were no buttons for floors just a place where one puts their badge card, it shows the floors the person is allowed to visit, from which they choose the floor they want to go to. 

“It saves us the hassle of people constantly mistaking floors and illegal trespassing. Usually, every employee is allowed on different floors. We – Han, Ben, your uncle Luke and I, are allowed access to all floors.” By the mention of his name, Rey stopped listening as her stomach clenched with excitement that she told herself was absolutely useless right now since she’ll probably meet him some other day and not today. “You will get access to the floors of the designers which are ten to twelve but will mostly work on our level – twenty-five.” 

The feeling of discomfort for already being treated differently leaves Rey shifting uncomfortably. She never had such a privilege in her life, it’s just what her parents always told her - she is no different than the other kids, so she grew up with the mindset of never being treated differently than the general majority. 

“Don’t you look at me like that or dare tell me you want to be treated like the others. I wouldn’t do this if we were talking about anyone else, but you are nothing short of my daughter, so I don’t want to hear it.” 

“Then I will work twice as hard to prove myself. I just don’t feel comfortable with the idea of getting this privilege without having earned it.” Leia smiled with a raised brow. 

“I expect nothing less from you.”

They were coming off the elevator when a lively voice came from their left. “General! To what do I owe the pleasure of having you showing up on a Sunday and asking for me? I know I am a workaholic and spend my weekends here, but you?” 

The man’s tone was light as if he was walking on air and his whole demeanour mirrored that as well. He was older than her for sure – ten years or so. 

“Rey, I want to present to you Poe Dameron, my secret weapon in “O.S” and the man who will now volunteer to teach you everything he knows about this company. Isn’t that right, Poe?” Poe looked confused.

“I am?” to which Leia just nods. 

“You are.”

Poe Dameron inspected Rey with a quick look before offering his hand paired with a big smile. “Pleasure to meet you Rey. We will have a lot of work, but also a lot of fun times. In addition to being our General’s secret weapon I’m also the head of the PR department. My team would be happy to have you.” Rey took his hand, feeling at ease around this strangely bright and handsome man. 

“She is not going to be part of your team, Poe. She is the intern.”

The look on Poe’s face shifted immediately to what could only be described as a sour expression. “Then I’m so terribly sorry for you.” 

“Poe Dameron!” Leia’s voice although stern was just as playful. 

“What? I’m not lying, am I? She is about to experience the horror of working for that person.” 

Rey was starting to get confused as for what was awaiting her here, but she managed to quickly pull herself together before the thoughts could consume her. 

“By the way,” started Poe “You are still very welcome to join us on our parties. You won’t get a lot of that from your…department.” 

“I would love to.” The more time passed the more attractive Rey found Poe. 

“Okay, that would be all for today. I wanted you two to meet, you’ll start the training tomorrow.” Leia chirps in between them. 

“My floor is the 15th, whenever you are ready with your job here, just come downstairs. And honestly, I do pity you.” He finished before turning lightly on his heels swinging his badge in a circle and entering the elevator.

“Okay, come along now. I want to show you where your desk is. We had an empty room anyway.” 

They passed four glass offices, each equipped with automatic blinders in case someone may want privacy. “Uncle Han, you, L. Skywalker so I suppose uncle Luke” Leia nods. “and B. Solo…Ben.” The gentle way his name escaped her lips, she hoped went unnoticed.

“Correct. And here is yours.”

The space was smaller than the other offices but much bigger than Rey had expected. The desk was huge which she appreciated given she was the type to pile stuff on top of a desk if her experience in college counts as a similar setting. 

“Go ahead and look around.” Leia urged as Rey stepped inside of her office. Most interns would be over the moon for an inch of their own space and here she was having one.

But the view. The view over the city left her speechless. How would sunsets even look from up here? Divine she imagines. It’s not long till it’s time for it anyway. She imagined the calming orange would spread around her room bathing everything in warm orange light. Something about this idea excited Rey like a little kid and hoped Leia had more things to show up here so that she can take at least a glimpse of it. What she failed to notice was that had Leia disappeared and subsequently appeared back but this time not alone.

“Rey, darling. I want you to meet my son, Ben. Ben, you may remember Rey, although just as a baby.” 

And when Rey turned around, she felt as if all the air was pulled out of her lungs and it was given to him. Forget about Poe Dameron, this is what Rey called a man. He was nothing like his parents, towering above his mother by at least two heads. His demeanour was cold, his hooded eyes piercing right through her. His arms crossed in front of his chest and the fact he was wearing a plain black t-shirt didn’t leave much to the imagination as the material hugged tightly every piece of his muscular, toned body, while a little strand of hair deviated from his otherwise neatly combed middle-length hair, which additioqnally sculpted his face to perfection. He could probably lift her with one arm and fuck her looking at her like that, kissing her with those pouty full lips…Wait, what? No, she should not go down this drain of inappropriate thoughts. This is her mother best friend’s son. This was possibly her boss. The hottest, most fuckable boss yes, but her boss nonetheless or at farthest reach her boss’ son.

Ben seemed to be taking his time to look at Rey from head to toe. She felt exposed. No piece of clothing mattered, she was nothing short of naked under his gaze.

“Sadly, I do not remember, I’m sorry. Ben Solo, pleasure to meet you.”

His hand extends for a hostile handshake and Lord, was his hand twice as big as hers. She couldn’t take her eyes off it, afraid that if she looks him in the eyes, sleep would never come for her ever again. Unconsciously, her teeth found the tender flesh of her lower lip, gently biting on it, while the temperature of her body rose significantly at the thought of his fingers touching where a fire slowly but surely was starting to burn, one she didn’t know how to put out. 

“Rey Johnson, pleasure to meet you too.”

Her voice was barely a shy whisper in comparison to her usual loud, outspoken self. Ben Solo made her feel small and for some reason, she couldn’t find it in herself to mind it. Taking Ben’s hand was nothing like his appearance suggested it would be. The cold aura was in absolute contrast with his warm hand, holding onto hers as if afraid that if more pressure is added he’d break her wrist.

“Well, Rey, Ben was so nice to agree to be your supervisor, I didn’t want just anyone to be your superior. I’ll let him explain his rules regarding your work together while I go take care of something with Poe downstairs and after that, we can meet at the main entrance to go for dinner.” Leia’s voice put Rey out of her trance. 

“Yes, of course. I will meet you there then, aunt Leia.”

“No need.” Ben’s voice made her shiver. “There is no point in you waiting for us mom,” Rey found herself following his lips, still refusing to look at his face as a whole, only his voice was enough to make her clench her thighs all so lightly, while he obliviously finished his sentence “this might take a while. Go finish your job, I’ll explain some things to her and we will meet you home. Where’s your car?” 

The question came out as a surprise, her eyes looked straight at his, immediately regretting that decision. 

“What, excuse me? Uhm, oh, a car. I don’t drive.” 

“You don’t drive?” the expression on his face was stiff, unreadable and that made it even hotter. “Well, in that case, you’ll ride with me. We’ll meet you there. Is that okay?” Leia nodded. 

“Fine. But don’t take too long, I want you there at eight sharp. If your father made the commitment of not running late, so can you. See you at home then.”

Rey is almost sure that every bit of calmness she possessed left when Leia left. Now the room was heavy with Ben’s cologne and his gaze which was stoic, quiet and from what she felt dangerous. The notes of gentleness he had around his mother, also seemed to have been left at the door as he seemed bigger now, scarier, which is totally not a valid reason for Rey to be as wet as she was, thank god, she was wearing a skirt.

“Let’s get some rules straight.” His voice had dropped down an octave, making her legs weak. She would very much like for him to straighten her out alright. “I don’t know how you will manage with your…” he looked at her in order to find the right words, to which she found herself seeking to hold onto the desk for support. “lack of transportation, but you will be here at 8 am sharp. The working day starts at 9. I know that the interns are usually required to come at 9, but you are no regular intern, right? You’re my intern, so you’ll be here at 8.” All that lingered in Rey’s mind was the little word “my” and the way it rolled off his tongue and settled right between her legs. “Second, I will receive two reports from you a day. On Monday mornings, you’ll report to me the work finished through the weekend and then I’ll give you your tasks for the day from me and Dameron…” Connecting the dots led to the conclusion that maybe Ben and Poe do not like each other very much and she is already stuck between them. Though to be honest, Rey had already made up her mind about which one she favors. “In the afternoon reports you’ll show me all the work you have done and only if I deem it satisfying according to my standards do you get to get off work. Except for Fridays. Then you will be free to get off at 6 pm alongside everyone. Am I clear for now?” 

“Yes.” Rey’s voice once again came out not much stronger than a shy whisper and that started to annoy her. She was not this type of girl, not one to just bow down to any man. Although in all fairness, Ben was not just any man. 

“Good. Third, you will keep your desk tidy. If you need to, buy binders and sticky notes, whatever makes you comfortable, but there will be no clutter on my watch. Next, as far as the way you should look, I don’t have any expectations. Just don’t come like you just rolled out of bed or with jeans and a t-shirt, keep it in the range of what you are currently wearing, unless we have work on the weekends, then you can come however you like.” Oh, how she would love for him to make her come however he liked. Stop it! her brain screamed at her. This is absolutely embarrassing for you. You’re not a horny teenager anymore. I thought we went through this phase already, she continued to convince herself of that, hoping it might work. “And lastly, I am very strict when it comes to separating my work life and my private one. In the office, I would like to be referred to as Mr Solo or just sir, of course, I will keep the same respect on your side and always call you by your last name. Outside of business hours, you can call me Ben considering it’s inevitable we’ll see each other. That’s everything. Any questions?”

“You can call me Rey.” She doesn’t know how her voice came out so clear this time that it even surprised her. “When we’re outside of work, you can just call me Rey. Other than that, everything is clear.”

“Okay, Rey.” Sweet music to her ears, her name off his lips. Seemed like Ben was satisfied with her answer resulting in his face taking a more relaxed look. “Then I believe we got ourselves a clear dynamic here. Now let’s go. I’m not all that thrilled to disappoint my mother by being late.” His hands touched each of his pockets most likely to check if everything is in its place before opening the door.

“Wait!” 

“Yes?” he turned back around to properly look her in the eyes. 

“I do…have one question if that’s okay.” There it was back the whisper.

“I’m listening.” 

“Is there a specific reason for going home earlier on Fridays?” his features tightened once more. 

“Yes, but I believe our relationship in no way obligates me to explain it any further, given the fact it concerns my private life.” He did resemble his father just now. The snarky tone in his reply was absolutely something that would come out of Han’s mouth. 

The curiosity and equally snarky observation crept inside of Rey’s chest, not allowing her to breathe freely. Did she feel like she could get on her knees and beg for this man? Yes. Was it rational? No. Would she allow herself to be treated like this just because he is her senior and she is horny for him? No. Because he may resemble his father, but his father also taught her never to back down from something she believed had to do with her life.

“It does obligate you to explain considering it does concern this business environment. You cannot just make a timetable according to your wishes, Ben,” oh, the way he looked at her. The way his jaw clenched tightly, his eyes threw every dagger possible at her, his whole body tensed, as he searched in her eyes where she found the nerve to talk to him like that. “why should my working schedule fit with your personal one? I thought, what was it, you were very strict when separating your personal from your work life? I may want to get off earlier on a Tuesday, what’s the difference?” Her legs didn’t need the desk’s support anymore as she felt her confidence was back on track. 

His hand let go of the door that closed with a little sound making Rey incredibly aware of the fact that he was now moving closer blocking her between him and the desk. She expected he would shout but he didn’t. Instead, a dark chuckle vibrated from Ben’s chest, as his eyes darkened even more to the point that they looked almost black. He got so close she could smell his cologne, it contains hints of mint and wood, which did suit his cold and hard personality. Her hands held onto the table once again, her breath hitched, while the mess between her legs became unbearable to the point she got concerned it would start leaking down her thigh. 

“Tell me, Rey” he clearly put emphasis on her name, the way she had done with his earlier. “do I look like someone to fuck around with?” he was looking down at her, but she didn’t have the power to look back at him, afraid of what she may find out. “No, right? You so desperately want to know what I’m doing on Friday evenings? Okay, I will tell you.” He was so dangerously close to her as his body bend down, surrounding her small frame and his lips all so gently settled to whisper in her ear. “I fuck respect into little girls like you that for some reason think it’s really brave of them to defy me or my orders.” 

Oh, the way she felt the air being knocked out of her lungs. In no way did she expect something as explicit as what he was admitting to right now to come out of his mouth. “If I touch you right now, your pussy would be soaked, wouldn’t it Rey? You’re not really as good at hiding it as you may like to believe.” The blood from what seemed her whole body was now settling in her cheeks and she was certain they were as bright red as a bloomed red rose. “But don’t worry, I won’t touch you. Not at all in fact. You’re too precious to my family.” the little, quiet, disappointed, soft whine that escaped Rey’s lips was rationally embarrassing while irrationally it voiced what she truly desired right now - to beg him to touch her any way he wanted to despite really knowing him for less than an hour. His body moved so that his face levelled up to hers as a lazy, sinister smile tugged on both ends of his lips. “Oh, did that disappoint you, little one? In all honestly, I was entertaining the idea, not going to lie about that but you brought this onto yourself with that smart mouth. So instead, you’ll just have to get used to the idea that I’m leaving every Friday to have fun and it will not be with you. Now, go wash your face with cold water, it’s all red and then let’s go. As I said, I don’t want to keep my mother waiting.” 

And just like that Ben turned around as if what he just said didn’t have absolutely any impact on any type of relationship they have, had or could have. He knew she was attracted to him, he made fun of that fact and proceeded to tease her like she was a kid who had the most delicious candy hanging loosely above her head. But no matter how much she jumped, cried and tried to reach it, she will never be able to grab it.

Rey walked right passed the towering mountain of a moron and straight to the bathroom that Leia showed her not too long ago. She couldn’t wash her face, she had make-up on, but she could calm her thoughts even if it was for no more than two to three minutes.

Her heart was beating so fast. It was partially because of embarrassment, partially because she ended up finding out that despite being put through such humiliation, it turned her on even more which was practically impossible, but he probably knew that already. 

She feared exactly that. Ben seemed to read her like an open book and she was willing to let him do it.

No. She will not allow him to play her like that. She will not bend or beg for Ben Solo, no matter how much she wanted.

Never.


	2. When the sun went down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "That’s my seat.” Ben was hovering above Rey with one hand on her chair. He was wearing rings…she didn’t notice that, considering she’s been staring at his hands for a good portion of the time.
> 
> “Uhm, I’ve been sitting here forever. Would it be a problem to stay here tonight, Ben? I have interesting things to share.” she put enough emphasis on the last sentence for him to realize she was holding him by the collar in his own home. If he hadn’t told her not to tell them anything she wouldn’t have even thought of bringing it up. But knowing he explicitly doesn’t want them to know means that she was holding the cards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fic has its own playlist so I'm just attaching it below for anyone who reads with music like me:  
> [Sexy playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5nvC3ro3zO2oAjAB5sFB9f?si=Eni2lZVbSr-msxBP12STOg)

Throughout the ride to the Solo’s mansion, the Spotify playlist had been working hard to fill the dead silence between them. Rey didn’t take him for the type to listen to Halsey, but nonetheless she was glad for the song covering the void of silence.

She noticed that Ben’s style of driving was with one hand, while the other was holding onto his phone, that vibrated almost non-stop and would reply at every red light before putting it down to rest between his thighs. God, his thighs…No! No. Rey focus, she told herself. You can’t be distracted or seduced by him, she reminded herself.

Was he messaging one of his “little girls”? As a matter of fact, how did he even approach them? Maybe he didn’t. Maybe they approached him. Most probably they did. A man of his class is inevitably approached by women, so it’s natural he will take advantage of that.

A man. Ben was, in fact, ten years older than her. She just registered this fact in the little ‘Ben Solo’ file tucked in her brain. How many women, older than her, had fallen for his looks? His voice? Obviously a lot. His brains? How did he manage to stay so calm after bombing her with the information he did a mere twenty minutes ago? Maybe that was normal for him or this is the way he cornered his prey. Rey was no prey. She liked to believe so, it’s possible that this statement could be proven wrong, most probably by her panties sticking to her pussy, they were so wet, but for now, she still thought she is not as weak as Ben Solo may like her to be.

While wondering all of this, she found herself staring at him, admiring his features, although this was the one thing she wasn’t supposed to do on this car ride.

“I appreciate the obvious interest in my face, but you may want to voice whatever is going on in that little head of yours.” 

He didn’t even look at her through his sunglasses. Only then did it hit her. By being so occupied with Ben, she totally missed the sunset from the building. It was truly a shame considering how even now it had showered the car in burning orange light, imagine that on the top of that building. Maybe tomorrow. Yes. Tomorrow, she’ll have the chance again considering Ben doesn’t keep her for the entertainment of tormenting her.

“Nothing. I was wondering how it is possible for someone to be so weird.”

That came out as a surprisingly stable answer considering it was only half a lie. Tearing her gaze away from him was hard, but she still managed to do it, turning to the other side to watch through the window as they passed through the Solo’s infinite flower garden surrounding them from both sides, meaning she hadn’t even realized when they went through the gates of the Solo property.

Each of the seven members of the Skywalker/ Solo family tree had chosen a flower to represent them in the enormous garden and even Rey had a very small section in the back behind the mansion. Leia made her choose a flower to plant on her 16th birthday to symbolize herself. She chose the Hyacinth symbol of Playfulness and it has ever since led up to represent her in most of the things she was doing.

She used to listen to Leia talk about the meanings of each of the flowers but always forgot which one belonged to whom.

“Chrysanthemums for Modesty, Poppies for Sacrifice, Magnolia for Nobility, Iris for Wisdom, Pink roses for Elegance, Pestemones for courage and Camellias for…” she whispered the meanings of each, but the last one just couldn’t roll off her tongue. What did the Camellias stand for? “and…” What did the god damn Camellias stand for?! Unable to remember she just gave up and prepared to leave as they came closer to the two-floored white mansion.

The bright red AMG G-class halted its movements as Ben parked it next to his mother’s Maserati and his father’s old and dusted Ford Falcon. An absolute mystery is how it’s still running. In all honesty, Ben fit his car. Not that she thought he can even fit in every car with how huge he was as a person, but the G-class just…fit his aesthetic. 

“Don’t get off. I’ll help you down. I don’t want you scratching my car on accident with my father’s piece of junk.” Before she could protest, Ben had already left.

Here outside the big city, the wind was blowing a little stronger and a little bit colder too. It made her feel a tad insignificant. Not a pleasant feeling.

Rey followed Ben with the corner of her eyes as he went from one side to the other, the wind messing Ben’s hair in every which direction it liked, causing him to run his hand through it to keep it from getting into his eye.

The space between Ben’s car and “The Falcon”, Han’s most prized possession, was not all that much and most certainly not enough for Ben and her to fit next to one another comfortably. She wasn’t sure if he was actually concerned for his car or his father’s car. If anything happened to “The Falcon” Ben would wake up disowned.

“Come on” he offered her a hand “Hop off.” The gentle words were a refreshing deviation from his snarky demeanour as she took him on his offer, getting off the car.

Leia was already out the door waving at them, smiling when out of nowhere Ben snuck an arm around Rey’s waist. She froze realizing she was right. If he wanted, his hands could circle her waist twice. Very naturally, his breathe was tickling her as his voice filled her ears. 

“Two things. One, if you even hint to my parents about what I told you, you will never, ever, experience what you truly desire. And two” what followed was probably the sole reason sleep didn’t find her at all through the night. His lips settled for a very gentle, short peck on the base of her jaw. “Camellias stand for passion. Those are my flowers, little one. Let’s not forget them next time.”

He left her there frozen, lounging through the front yard directly into his mother’s arms again acting as if nothing happened, nothing had been said. Her brain slowly processed the fact she had to move and not fall in his feet as she so desperately wanted to but moving turned out to be much more difficult than she expected. 

“Rey, darling, you’ll get cold there! Come on.” Leia urged as Rey’s limbs all shot awake, practically running towards the yellow bright light coming from the house. 

Walking in, she noticed that the fireplace was lit, as the warmth spread through the whole space. 

The living room where for the last 15 years every Easter has been spent was the main source of said warmth. From colouring the eggs according to her family’s orthodox tradition to the Easter bunny chocolate eggs hunt that was the tradition of most families, they did it all. The adults used to give her a map and a riddle to find out where the hunt begins and then just let her loose in the infinite garden with Chewie. She remembered how she would wander around, usually ending up forgetting about the hunt as a whole and would just play with her imaginary friends or with Chewie. He had always been down to play, allowing her to climb his back and ride him. The room brought back beautiful memories, as Rey walked down the hall towards the spacey kitchen where Han was bickering with Leia about how a lemon is supposed to be cut in order to squeeze the most juice out of it. But He was missing and she was sure he walked in before her.

“It’s obvious that it depends on how many people one lemon is supposed to serve Han. It’s absolutely ridiculous to assume you can just cut it in half and one would be enough for all of us.”

“Why in the world would you cut two lemons when Ben doesn’t even like lemons?” 

Rey could never resist smiling when it came to them and their bickering. She could never resist smiling and doing her best when it came to them as a whole. They were the closest she felt she had to a real family. Not that the Johnsons haven’t been anything but nice to her, and she didn’t consider them her family. It’s just that as an orphan, who was adopted really early on in her life, she felt she could also choose her family. And in her head, both families were her family. Except for Ben Solo. She wanted to fuck Ben Solo so theoretically and quite honestly practically as well Ben Solo was a stranger. She registered that they are his parents, but also they were not his parents in the sense they were to her…it’s honestly really confusing, so she threw this dilemma of how ethical it is to want to fuck Ben far back somewhere close to the occipital lobe in her brain, where another bad thought had been kept. One she really didn’t trust to think about yet.

“Honestly, uncle Han is right. We should just cut it in half. After all, this is not a banquet. It’s family Sunday dinner.”

“Oho, who do we have here? A working rascal?” He ruffled Rey’s hair as Leia just gave up on the idea of an aesthetically pleasing looking dinner and just cut the lemon in half.

“I didn’t know we were already talking about you, uncle.” She sat on her usual spot on the first chair on the left as Han sat down in his usual middle spot.

“Good one. I’ve taught you well.”

“The student cannot afford to disappoint their teacher.” 

Heavy footsteps were heard coming down the stairs in a very calm, threatening manner. Ben skipped past the living room, stepping directly into the kitchen. His hands were wet suggesting he had just washed them. “Mom, you really shouldn’t keep all of the things I’ve drawn when I was 10 on the walls you know.” 

Leia didn’t even look up to answer. “This is my home. I’ll keep them if I want to.”

The loudest bark in history broke through the walls halting all and any human conversations. Chewie who had snuck in the house through the front door that Rey had forgotten to close after her, practically jumped on Ben. When he does the same thing to Rey she falls on the ground, always, but not Ben. He just grabbed him by the front paws settling him down on the floor, sitting down to scratch his ears. “Chewie, buddy, come here. Yes, I’m home.” The monstrous menace of a dog drooled all over the floor, but Ben didn’t seem to mind it all that much. “I’m sorry, yes, yes. You are a good boy. Dad, I got several emails today regarding the apparent oil leak in the southern factories? I have to send some of my men down there tomorrow for closer inspection and NDA agreements, but I need your objective opinion on the conditions first.”

“Well, it’s-” Han started off. “Han and Ben Solo! I swear to god, if I hear one more sentence about work, both of you will wake up jobless. Am I absolutely crystal clear?” Ben visibly opened his mouth to protest, but a sound never dared to come out of it. “Save it!” Rey chuckled visibly annoying Ben.

So there is a woman Ben Solo could never defy. That’s a decent start. “Kiddo, how’s college?” Han interrupted her train of thought.

“Honestly? Like a disease slowly spreading to take over my last brain cell. If I hear the word brain one more time I will just explode but other than that it’s okay I guess, summer vacation and all.”

“That’s my seat.” Ben was hovering above Rey with one hand on her chair. He was wearing rings…she didn’t notice that, considering she’s been staring at his hands for a good portion of the time.

“Uhm, I’ve been sitting here forever. Would it be a problem to stay here tonight, Ben? I have interesting things to share.” she put enough emphasis on the last sentence for him to realize she was holding him by the collar in his own home. If he hadn’t told her not to tell them anything she wouldn’t have even thought of bringing it up. But knowing he explicitly doesn’t want them to know means that she was holding the cards. 

Rey recognized the exact same look in his eyes from when she confronted him about Friday – dark, unreadable. As if he was contemplating all the ways he could kill her. She was certain there is absolutely no way her behaviour will not affect the way he treats her at work no matter how much he liked to think he is able to separate the two.

“Yes. Of course. I would like to hear more about you.” There, he was doing it again. His body telling one story, while his voice – another. Rey could swear his eyes were just screaming at her, but nowhere in his voice could she find traces of aggression, sarcasm or annoyance.

Ben sat down next to her as Leia finally made her way to the table carrying bread and wine for the otherwise packed table.

Most of the meal went by discussing matters that had nothing to do with today – the political climate, Rey told them about this experiment she had run as part of one of her psychology courses and for a second there she felt the pressure of what Ben is thinking about her lift off her shoulders. For a moment she could even remember how it felt like not to ache between her legs for Ben. He also appeared pretty relaxed mostly talking with his mom about plays he wanted to go watch and to his father about how it is time to give up “the Falcon” and to just let him buy the old man a new car. Han started shouting how if he could he would spend every last penny on his car, Ben shouted back that this is utterly ridiculous and soon after that it was all back to normal.

Even after everyone was full the conversation just couldn’t stop so they ended up munching on cheese, prosciutto and wine Han found in the fridge.

“…and this is why you should never let Chewie close to the garden.” Leia was in shock, Rey was laughing so hard she had to clench her stomach and surprisingly, Ben had also let out more than just a cold chuckle. His laugh was deep, just like his voice and it almost seemed like he was laughing at more than just Han’s incredibly entertaining story about Chewie, shoes and the garden. When they calmed down Rey thought about the garden once more.

“Aunt Leia, we passed through the flower garden today and I had remembered the different symbols of the flowers but not to who each belonged to. But I got the symbolisms right, so at least that’s intact!”

“Almost all the meanings of the flowers.” Ben corrected smiling, again seeming absolutely unaffected, while his voice almost ringed in her head. “Camellias are passion…little one” and his eyes were telling her the same thing. She felt like she wanted to sink into the ground. How did she fail to recognize how dangerous her question was? How she got so relaxed for a second around him to the point she forgot what she knows about him?

What she knows?! As far as she knew, he could also be lying about this whole thing. Of course! Why didn’t it hit her sooner? He could totally have wanted to just fuck with her. All part of some weird prank. So far as she can tell he could be going in animal shelters on Friday to play with puppies or watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S on the couch. She didn’t really know if he was telling the truth. Rey, you’re so naïve and dumb, you didn’t even entertain the idea that he might be lying, she told herself.

This revelation should calm her down, right? Then why did this sound more unbelievable than what he had told her? Maybe she just wanted to believe him. She just wanted to believe he was a dominant control freak because that’s the weirdest thing that had ever turned her on.

Rey knew that was the truth and it was as selfish as it gets.

“Well, the Chrysanthemums were the very first flowers planted here by my grandmother and Ben’s great-grandma, Shmi, back when she bought this land. Now everything is green, but back then, not so much. Then there were Checkered Lilly’s she planted for my father Anakin. They meant Pride.” Leia’s voice got weaker talking about her father. It was a really touchy subject. Rarely either of the twins talked about any of their parents really. Their mother had died at birth and their dad when they were 24. “After he died in the storm saving me and your uncle Luke, the Lilly’s were destroyed alongside a big portion of the Chrysanthemums and while the latter managed to survive, the Lily’s didn’t so I decided to plant Poppies instead, the symbol of Sacrifice. The Magnolia is my mother’s flower” Padme Amidala, one of the greatest politicians the country had ever had from what Rey knew about politics. “My father chose them after her funeral, he used to tell us she never got around choosing a flower so he did that for her. Iris for Wisdom and Pink roses for Elegance are mine and your uncle’s Luke flowers. Penstemons are Han’s and Ben chose Camellias.” Rey felt the blush creeping on her skin. She already knew about the Camellias. She doubts she will ever forget about it for the rest of her life. “And the last one’s are you Hyacinths in the back.” She brought the wine to her lips finishing it one go.  
The atmosphere had changed. It wasn’t lively and loud, now it felt sad and gloomy. She didn’t think that flowers could be so heavy with meaning and history. Feeling responsible for the drastic shift, Rey breathed in, smiled brightly, got up and started collecting the dishes off the table in offer to help with the cleaning.

“I don’t see Susan,” the housemaid “so I can do it for you.” Leia stopped her from continuing to pick up the dirty dishes from the table. 

“No darling, no need to. I’ll do them tomorrow.” Rey continued picking them up.

“I insist.”

“Are you sure?” 

“Yes, of course, I am. Those dishes are nothing in comparison to our household. Go rest, aunt Leia. Thank you for the dinner, it was exceptional.” Leia only smiled, kissed Rey’s forehead, mouthing a small voiceless “thank you” and left the dining room for the living room. “Uncle Han, give me 10 minutes just to put the dishes in the dishwasher!” she said turning on the sink.

“He left to search for mom. I am driving you home. It’s on my way.”

Of course, he was. His body was resting against the wall, his hands once more crossed in front of his chest. She noticed he was taller than the fridge, which didn’t particularly mean anything, just something she noticed while inspecting him, before looking down at the clutter in the sink.

“Okay, I need 10 minutes to finish here.”

“You’ll probably need more. If Susan is not here it means, there are clean dishes in the dishwasher that has yet to be put in their place. I’ll put those away while you clean. It will save time.”  
And so they did. He opened the dishwasher, being absolutely correct that it was full of dishes and started putting everything in its place. He pulled out forks, spoons in all varying sizes and all of them looked so miniature in his hands, while at the same time he was so gentle with each piece and the place he would put it in, regardless of its size. He was probably used to things being small in his hands. /Our throat for example/ whispered the devil on her shoulder, which she shooed away, not comprehending how these thoughts all made their way to her head. Lastly, he picked up one of the big ceramic bowls looking at it funny. 

“Where does this thing go?”

She barely spared it a glance knowing exactly what it is and where it was supposed to be put. “In the cabin above the sink.” And continued to soap the last two plates before her heart stopped. He was standing right behind her, she could hear his heartbeat slowly, surely not the same way hers was going crazy, opening the cabinet carefully not to hit her head by accident and put the bowl inside.

“I could’ve just…moved.” She whispered despite all the promises she made to herself.

“I didn’t want you to.” Ben wasn’t rough, rude and arrogant as he had been all day. Her feet trembled from the softness of his voice in her hair. She could’ve imagined it but it seemed like he was taking in her scent. People always told her she smelled like honey, hopefully, this was what he got. It made her stomach clench with butterflies that flew too fast spreading throughout her whole body, leading her to shiver slightly. Ben all so gently closed the cabinet and just like that the warmth of his body was gone. “Are you ready?” he asked. 

“Yes, just one more.” She put the last glass on the dryer as they were not supposed to be put in the dishwasher, Ben turned it on and so they were done.

The ride back was just as quiet as the ride too, on top of everything the playlist was very sensual this time which made Rey feel restless. She recognized Ozzie’s “Don’t play”, a song she liked to listen to when she touched herself. Gladly, the night did her a favour by hiding her flaming cheeks. The pressure of being with him after their three questionable encounters were growing immensely, all pulsating on the centre of her cunt. She felt the utter need to get home, lock the door of her room, spread her legs and just get off the thought of his lips, feathering along her neck, calling her “little one” and possibly imagine her fingers being his. This wasn’t possible of course, his hand was twice the size of hers, but she knew she will try. 

“Earth to Rey! Hello, do we have a contact?” he was chuckling lightly. “Huh, what? I’m sorry did you say anything?”

“Yes, I’ve been trying to get your attention for the last two minutes, it’s okay. I just wanted to tell you that back there in the office, I was joking.” Her ears perked up, her whole body just stood still.

“What?!” the disbelief had been so big her voice came out more like a shout, Ben’s laughter filling her ears. “I need this time on Friday because I offer free legal advice to families that can’t afford it. Attorneys are really expensive, but people’s problems don’t no money.”

So he was just fucking with her and the theory that had lit up in her brain at dinner was closer to the truth than she ever allowed herself to entertain. Looking back on the day, nothing but his words have been harsh to her. Even when his arm wrapped around her waist was gentle, allowing her to wiggle out if she wished to do so. She didn’t move though, because she didn’t want to.

“So, you were actually just pranking me of some sort?”

“Well, my mom always said I would make a pretty decent actor. I told you not to tell them anything because if they heard such a thing about me, chances are they’ll believe it and the dinner would’ve turned into an investigation into Ben’s fetishes.” Rey allowed herself to laugh at that.

“Your mom would absolutely do that.”

“I’m sorry if it came out too real. Didn’t mean to actually scare you, you know?” his voice no longer had that sharp edge to it, it sounded so friendly and inviting.

“No, it’s okay. It was a good prank. Just watch your back, after working hours,” it was his turn to laugh at something she said, “I’ll return the favour one way or another.”

The silence settled in again, but this time it wasn’t uncomfortable. She didn’t even notice when he parked in front of her building. 

“Here we are. Cherry lane, 23. It’s late so you better go. And be ready 7:30 tomorrow. I’ll come pick you up. It will be a loss of time and resources to go around the subway when your home is on my way to work.” She couldn’t hide how happy she was that she wouldn’t have to ride the dirty, smelly, full of sleazy men subway.

“Really?! Thank you! It’s interesting how I’m just on your way everywhere.” She added jokingly.

“It really is, isn’t it? Goodnight Rey.” He unlocked the car as she opened the door, jumping down.

“Goodnight Ben.” She smiled at him, as she felt the little dark thought making its way closer to being put into words, she just didn’t want to accept to do it just yet.

Feeling the need to relieve all of the pent-up energy and emotions, Rey ran up the stairs to the tenth floor, apartment sixteen, made sure to quietly open the door. Just as suspected everyone else was asleep already as she managed to sneak into her room making as little noise as humanly possible, proceeded to throw her blouse somewhere in the dark across the room, unbuttoned her skirt with shaky fingers, leaving her in her fully lace white underwear.

She opened her wardrobe, reaching her hand deep behind the racks of sweaters and jackets until her fingers wrapped around the pink handle of her Hitachi wand. It was going to be one sleepless night.

Epilogue

He unlocked his apartment, the door practically flying open as he threw his car keys on the island in the living room.

“You’re late, Solo.” Called a voice from the couch.

“I know. Where is she?” He put down his rings, followed by his watch. Walked to the alcohol storage unit, from where a very wide selection of drinks stood before him. He opted for whiskey with ice.

“She is in the room, ready for you. Has been for the last half an hour. Where were you anyway?”

“Had to make a stop on my way back.”

“Does this stop have a name? Perhaps Rey Johnson?” Something about the way he pronounced her name, made his chest burn, grip the whiskey glass a little too tight.

“No.” his voice was firm, asserting dominance over the whole conversation.

“You are a terrible liar, you know, but maybe if you continue to repeat it, it will become a truth. Anyway, I’ll take my leave now as I have to be up early in the morning. Unlike you, I really need my beauty sleep. She’s well prepared, you don’t need to do more.” Poe pat Ben on the back as he left.

Ben stood there in the living room a little more pondering on the feeling he had just experienced. It was probably nothing he thought as he made his way past his bedroom and into the guest bedroom, opening the door.

“Master…” the soft female voice offered to him surprisingly didn’t sound as pleasing as it usually did.

“I heard you have been saying bad things about your master, little one.” His head was immediately flooded by images of Rey, the thought of her blushed face from the office made him rock hard. 

This was frustrating. It’s not logical for him to experience that, he never had, and a stupid little family friend will not be the one to do it. When the command found his voice, a growl ripped from his chest. 

“On the bed, legs open, hands up. If you move them, I’ll cuff them and still have you the way I want to.”

It’s all because of Rey. This anger he’s unleashing. He wanted her.

For the first time in ten years, Ben Solo’s heart moved for someone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PFF okay, okay, in his defence they are both idiots, we know, but it's not just Ben who is a liar whose pants are on fire.  
> You can follow me on Twitter:  
> [SiwonVelvet](https://twitter.com/siwonvelvet)


	3. The liar whose pants caught fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Looking around to cross on the side-walk a small hand latched on his biceps obviously objectively unable hold his whole arm.
> 
> “Ben.”
> 
> No.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS CHAPTER RIPPED MY SOUL!

“And this is why I believe we should take down- Mr Solo, are you listening?”

No, he wasn’t, he heard what she said, but he couldn’t pay attention. He was distracted by her lips and the way she would bite them ever so slightly if she wasn’t sure about the slightest calculation in her report. For two weeks she got rid of the bad habit to cross her arms in front of her chest while reading. Maybe she just understood it’s not practical or is now more comfortable around him. All signs pointed towards both being true with which Ben’s unconscious was delighted. He hated it.

“Yes, I am.” liar. “The report is good, except for the statistics part. When you go down to Dameron, tell him to focus on helping you understand the distinctions between the tests and correct them for the afternoon. I’ll give you a head start- the data this report is supposed to reflect is qualitative, you can’t just use quantitative tests to prove your outcome. Understood?”

She nodded, diligently writing on her little wooden pad on her knees with too many pieces of paper on it. Someone would think she is an 80s secretary, not a multimillion corporation intern. 

“Yes, sir!”

Ben caught himself gripping the handle of the chair tighter than usual a cold shiver running down his leg. One would think that after two weeks he’ll get used to her calling him “sir” but no. Every time it would strike him like lighting, holding him electrocuted for hours. It was just a rank, a title, nothing he should ponder over for as long as he objectively did.

“Good. I will expect you with the correct data in the afternoon. That would be all. No work would be due for the weekend.” He knew better than to look up opting to read through a file open ever so convincing on his laptop instead.

Yet he couldn’t miss the smile covering Rey’s whole face from ear to ear. “Thank you, Ben! I…meant Mr. Solo…sir!” He despised how cute he found the dimple on her cheek and her hair sticking out in every direction. It was just not acceptable. 

“Go down now, you’ll be late.”

He hadn’t even realized he was holding his breath until she walked out of his sight.

No girl should not be making him feel this way! No woman has made him feel the bundle of contradicting emotions he had been going through for the last two weeks. Especially not one as young as Rey. She was naïve, didn’t know his ways, there was no way for him to guarantee her safety! She couldn’t handle him if he bared himself to her. He is not a gentle lover he couldn’t handle anything as fragile as her. He was a brute taught that love is expressed only by how much pain can your partner bare and this was abusive. He knew it.

“You are fucked up my young Solo. No woman would ever be able to fix you after me, no woman could ever love you like me.” The sound of the pen breaking in his hand snapped Ben out of the trance down memory lane.

No woman would be able to fix him. He was not something that could be glued back together just by the power of love and care. She made sure of it. Two weeks ago he couldn’t find out why he had this immediate urge to uncover himself to Rey in a way he hadn’t even to his mother. And she reacted as he expected – with fear and curiosity more than any other emotions, natural for someone her age. She didn’t owe him understanding, not when he just bombarded her like that. Truthfully, Ben just wanted to scare her off enough so she would not come close to him. That’s why he smeared everything with a pinch of “I’m a rightful man who just helps the people in need” bullshit. 

In his defence, half a lie is not as big of a deal as a full-blown one. It was true that he helps families that couldn’t afford good attorneys, only it wasn’t Fridays, but rather all week around simply because he was an incurable workaholic. It was also true that on nights he felt like it a submissive of his choice would be waiting for him in his apartment.

Strangely enough though lately he hasn’t been stressed out by his work, the only thing tensing him was Rey, Rey’s reports and her presence in general.

The memory of their meeting was so deeply engraved into his memory, Ben relived it constantly. When his eyes landed on hers and he saw nothing but pure fire in them. She wanted him, he knew it, he wanted her too. It was that simple despite Ben wanting to make it so much more complicated than that. She pulled him in like a magnet and when her voice escaped her lips, Ben was sure no one will ever be able to replace the way she said his name, followed by a little unsure tremble. He was ready to drop everything in that particular moment just for Rey to say his name again. When he hovered over, trying to intimidate her all he realized is how little was she in his hands. The intoxicating smell of honey and caramel sharpened Ben’s senses, making him want to touch, kiss and gently sink his teeth into the skin of her neck until she moaned for more. 

He would not forget the look she gave him when he told her what he does to his little girls – fear, yes, there was fear, but also equal amounts of lust, understanding that she is extremely turned on by what he was telling her and also really afraid of the fact she liked it. Ben knew this look – that’s the same look he had the first time that woman introduced him to the forbidden art of pleasure through control.

After that one faithful night when he was fifteen, Ben sought maniac level of control in his life, never showed mercy to anyone in his way, persisting towards the top, sometimes in ways, his family did not approve of. It’s been fifteen years since then. Countless women had come and gone, most of them hurt by the realization that Ben Solo purely just didn’t want to be fixed. In all honesty, the thought of “redeeming” himself never occurred to him, until the little devil messed up his life and changed it ever so slightly by fitting him inside of her routine, instead of the opposite as he would usually prefer.

Ben got used to picking her up in the morning, used to talking about the political climate in the car on the way to work, used to all his paper documents having little pink labels on them, used to getting back after a long meeting to a cup of coffee that he never asked her to make, but she always insisted he would do his job better that way. She would voluntarily take some load off of his shoulders on the weekends demanding that people need him so she can help. The little voice, inside of Ben’s head, shouting at him, was not helping. He wasn’t ready to listen to it. He was not ready to throw himself at her. This would be unacceptable and in striking deviation of his character.

And so with one last breath, Ben Solo took the wheel on his emotions and focused on the case he had received a week ago. The email was rather short and clean written:

“Mr Solo,  
My name is Finn. Two years and a half ago, I entered the university of Lake-water through a discovery contest. I proposed a new theory on episodic memory encoding and won first place. The award was a three-year scholarship to any program of choice. At the end of this year, my second one, after countless contributions to the university, I received a letter accusing me of plagiarism of said theory and ended up revoking my scholarship one year before my bachelor thesis, as well as an impending award-winning research paper, come out. I assure you I have not plagiarized a single sentence. I have countless instances to prove this but the university refuses to even hear me out. I was going to agree to leave if they allow for my documents to be released so I could find independent funding for my project, even if that means sacrificing my diploma, however, the university wants to claim all my work as their own. I’m looking into suing Lake-water to bring back the honour to my name and most importantly release all my research back to me. I understand you probably have murder victim trials on your list of candidates for help, but I strongly believe there is always the slightest possibility that maybe life would for once be on my side. My contacts are at the bottom of this email.  
I wish you a very successful week ahead,   
Finn.”

And then there was an online business card. 

This boy was right, he did have murder victims on the line for advice, but this case…Ben had never defended a college student with plagiarism charges. His gut told him this was going to be a curious venture so when the email came in last week Ben made an arrangement with the kid for today six-thirty at the “Co-co” café across town, close to the university in question.

Ben also needed assistance on the case. Maybe this was his chance at taking Rey out, to spend time with her, judge her character a little better before completely losing his mind over a small instance of emotion. Nothing more. This idea could have two very different implications, however – one, he will eventually get bored of her and realize he has a knack for her, just because she was a young, shiny toy and he hadn’t broken such in a while. Or two, he will fall deeper in the rabbit hole leading him to fall in – no. No love. There is no love. No love could ever be involved with Ben Solo.

With one last breath, Ben locked all of his emotions in a box, focusing on his work. The issue at hand was the afternoon rolling around quicker than expected with all the irritation surrounding Rey and his job was much more than he anticipated when the soft knock pulled him out of his fast typing in an attempt to lessen the piled up load.

“Afternoon report.” She walked in, the tulle on her skirt, jumping around with her, the door closed with a soft ‘thump’.

“Yes. Come in.” his voice came out so stern, even cold. He was projecting his frustration on her. In all fairness, it was half her fault. She had occupied his mind so much that the work he had been able to finish in less than four hours, now took him the whole afternoon.

“I finally understand what was wrong with the tests and I also know how to differentiate them. Here.” Rey extended a piece of paper to him, full of graphics. Ben took a quick look at it. 

Diligent, streamlined work, this time correct.

“You’ve done well. That’s it. Hand me in the rest of the report and you are free to go.” When his eyes met hers, he saw she had crossed her arms in front of her chest again. He had scared her off, good maybe that’s better. “Any plans for the weekend? You can come with me today at the meeting with my new client. You said you wanted to.”

She was clearly blushing. If this is how she blushes from something as small as a routine question, how would she blush if he whispered what good girl she is for him in her ear? Such a tempting idea really. Relish her, make her beg, break her until she is on her knees every time he is near. These thoughts were precisely the reason why Ben wanted her as far away as possible,   
nothing good would come out of him caring or craving her.

“I have plans for after work, I’m sorry.” Her voice trailed timidly and shy. Ben couldn’t miss the little sting of jealousy deep inside, very familiar to the feeling he had experienced with Poe. It was uncomfortable, tugging at his heart, like a small needle piercing carefully, but so painfully and the worst part was all these little wounds were open wide and he felt like it will never go away. “After that, I have to go see my parents, haven’t seen them in a while considering I take my job seriously. Maybe after that see my other friends, at some point I need to eat and sleep you   
know-”

“Rey?” she continues babbling, finding excuses “Rey.” No answer, just continuous babbling. 

“Rey!” she froze I one spot glueing her eyes to the floor. “I mentioned it because you said you were interested in helping me with the cases, so I just made a minor proposition.” His voice was calm, but cold, calculated, every word was directed away from any personal intentions. Why did this stupid idea even cross his head let alone come out?

“Maybe next time. If that’s okay…”

“Yes, of course.” There would be no next time. He wouldn’t ask her again. “You’re done by the way. You can go.”

Rey just nodded unnoticeably, the slightly curled strands of hair bounced around her face, framing it in a way Ben found tremendously charming. He knew better than fall for that trick though. He won’t allow his mind to convince him to act on blinding desires to punish her for intervening with his plan, opposing his proposition, turning it down. Ben was not used to this and his body was reacting. 

“I’ll see you on Monday, Ben. Have a great weekend.” Even when he was harsh to her, she was still smiling at him -so innocent, so naïve? No dilemma had been tearing her apart the way in the back of the head the way it had him. For the last of two weeks.

“I will. You have fun tonight.”

With a tender smile, she left Ben alone with the sun that brightly showered everything in orange. He hates sunsets. So much light in his eyes. If Rey didn’t want to go with him to the meeting, there were other options of people who would gladly offer their Friday night for the poor student.

*

“Okay, remind me again, what’s the case?”

“Dameron, are you stupid or just not listening?”

“None. I just like fucking with you.” Poe’s smirk reached all the way to his ears as Ben nervously tapped his feet, frustrated at the chances of them being late. He hated being late, it was unprofessional, to say the very least, so the moment the light turned green he stepped on the gas.

“Poe, don’t stress him out. You know how he gets.”

“Mama Rose be taking care of the baby.”

“Shut up.” She smacked him from the backseat. 

Why did he take both of them in the first place? Because they are your emotional crutches and you can’t live without them. Well, that much Ben knew to be true.

Poe, Ben and Rose. Fifteen years of a blooming friendship. Their dynamic so engraved in their daily lifestyles that breathing without each other seemed wrong. They studied together, worked together, dealt with their problems together. 

Ben found out he needed Rose, especially at this moment. Not because she was legally competent, rather he needed the smartest engineer, the head of Technical developments, to be close to him and make him feel better about getting rejected. Yes, this is the behaviour of a ten-year-old, but the other option was fucking obedience into the little brat so his friends would do. 

“Easy now, we still have enough time. Don’t rush so much. Why are you always like that with me but Rey says you are the most considered driver she knows?” Poe was checking his socials unaware of what he had said.

“What?” Ben seemed as if he was awakening from a trance. “What do you mean “like that”?” his left hand gripped the steering wheel harder than he would like to admit his knuckles turning white.

“I mean you are head over heels for the kid, you are extremely careful not to step on her toes in any way possible and I don’t understand why don’t you just admit it to yourself as I see you clearly have not by the way you’re gripping that wheel.”

“Poe Dameron! Leave him alone.” Rose scolded him.

“I want to know what’s going on inside of his head!” Poe was pushing it.

In all honesty, he brought his friends because they were the only ones that could deal with his temper problems without making it into a fuss, yet still push him hard enough for him to vent.  
Ben speed past a signal unsure if it was green or red, he hardly cared right now, the speeding ticket wasn’t anything he couldn’t afford. “No. I will not.”

“You can’t deny it forever!”

“Believe it or not, I agree with Poe, sunshine. I’ve been telling you two for the last ten years you can’t keep playing your little game forever and pretend what you’re are practising is normal. It’s not.” Rose’s tone was getting serious and Ben just knew there was no avoiding this conversation.

“Let’s get clear. One, I did ask her to come with me tonight, instead of you morons, she rejected me on the spot. Second and far more important” as the café came in sight, Ben turned abruptly on the first right to park in his usual spot. “I can’t distract myself from all the work we are drowning in with sappy romance.” he parked neatly, sighing deeply, turning off the car. “Besides I find her annoying, kind of over-the-top and not my style of a woman. I prefer someone…with more maturity, if you will. So now if we could please for the love of God, drop it.”

“Oh bullshit!” both groaned at the same time. “Absolute. Pure-bread bullshit!”

“Don’t use work as an excuse for the fact you are afraid of commitment, Solo. Rey is a consensual adult. Very rational and mature for her age may I add and you are strikingly aware of that fact. Your problem is only and exclusively with you. Don’t project on her.” Poe was speaking, what Ben couldn’t force himself to admit and will still not admit.

“We know the reason why you are like that, it still doesn’t mean you have to seclude yourself from the world until you’re sixty, you know?”

“I’m really not in the mood to talk about it anymore. We need to get off we’ll be late.”  
Ben got off the car, waiting for his friends before locking it, crossing the street and walking in, pushing every thought of the devil on his shoulder away. She can’t annoy him, seduce him or pull him to the darkest corners of his soul right now. This was work.

A normal café after six in the afternoon should be empty but not “Coco”. Good thing Ben was tall enough that he could look around the whole perimeter. Finn was quietly sitting at a table in the far back, looking at his phone, seemingly doing nothing. Ben recognized him immediately.

“How does your client looks like?” Poe’s hand was resting casually on his hip.

“I found him.” Without looking, Ben started making his way through the labyrinth of tables, chairs and people. He didn’t need to look back to know Poe and Rose were behind. Fifteen years together synchronized most of their actions.

Ben couldn’t help but notice that there were already two half-drunk coffee cups as he approached the table, suggesting that Finn had also brought someone else with him, most probably for support. 

“Finn? Nice to meet you.” He extended his hand for a formal handshake. “Ben Solo, we talked on the phone. These are my associates, Poe Dameron and Rose Tico.”

The boy was a little shy, it was obvious, nonetheless very polite and by his handshake alone obviously smart, which gave Ben hope that perhaps, he chose the right case to fight for.

“Finn, nice to meet you all. I would give you a surname, but I don’t have one, I’m sorry, I was assigned a number when I was born, not a last name. If you don’t mind, I brought a close friend of mine to accompany me because I felt really nervous to meet you on my own.” 

The hands of the boy were tightly holding the cup while taking a sip from the beverage inside of it. Meanwhile, the waitress took the trio’s usual order from Poe.

“No, that’s alright. Would you feel more comfortable to start when your…friend comes?” Ben knew he had to tread lightly in order to allow Finn to get comfortable enough to trust him and open up.

“She went to the bathroom. She has to be back in a – there she is!”

Ben smelled the honey before he heard her steps, knew who it was before she opened her mouth. He didn’t need to turn around. The tight feeling in his chest returned, his thoughts got clouded and for a moment it felt like the world was spinning.

“I’m sorry I was – Poe?! Ben?! You are representing Finn?”

“Rey?! Sunshine! What are you doing here?” Poe was already on his feet hugging her as the womanizer he was.

“I am with Finn. We are colleagues at the university.” 

Finn was stunned, to say the least. “You know them?” 

“Yeah! This is Poe Dameron, my mentor at the firm I work at and Ben is” for a brief moment Ben couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, couldn’t function as a whole awaiting to hear his precise label assigned to him by her. She sounded unsure, playing with her fingers, he saw from his periphery. What were they? “my supervisor, uhm…like my boss.” Yeah, that. They were definitely that, precisely that and nothing more. Never anything more.

“Hi, Rey! You’ve still not come down my way, but you soon will, when your supervisor starts breaking stuff.” Rose was already extending her hand to hold Rey’s in a friendly manner. Rey giggled and accepted her hand.

“Hopefully, I will be able to keep him tame enough not to do that.” She winked.

“Hello, Rey.” He nodded at her stiffly, intervening her conversation. Tame him? Naïve child.  
She sat next to Finn, holding onto his arm. Annoyance struck again, returning the undeniable feeling of discomfort all over his body. There had been no rational reason for Ben to be irritated by Rey’s presence. None. Except for the fact he craved her with a passion he hated.

“Hi, Ben!” It was as if it didn’t matter how cold he was to her, she would still smile at him like that. “I guess we still went out after all.”

Taking a deep, calming breath allowed him to regain enough control over his mind to continue the conversation.

“Clearly.” He spared her nothing more than a glance before focusing on Finn.

“So Finn, I would first like to tell you that I arranged this meeting so we could get to know each other. The details of the whole situation we will be dealing with will be discussed in a meeting of its own. For now, I’ll tell you a little bit about my work and then you can tell me whatever you like about yourself. Does this sound acceptable to you?” 

Finn nodded.

“First and foremost as you know there would be no legal fees for my services. I see how this could look a tad sketchy. The truth is I don’t need the money, I love the work, so I do these cases for free and only one at a time, so on top of no fees, your case will also have my undivided attention. I would’ve appointed someone on your case to help you if you have any questions, but I think Rey would do a great job with that. She needs practical experiences.”   
Rey changed her posture, sitting straight as if they were back at the office and he was scolding her for some baby mistake. Such a good girl for him. He felt getting harder and the train of his thoughts following a very inappropriate, wrong direction that should not be contemplated at that moment.

“I would gladly do it, s-Ben!” say it, is what Ben wanted to shout. ‘Call me sir’, he wanted to whisper in her ear, ‘let me show you your place,’ but no meant no in his books. The only way he would take a step towards her is if she took a step towards him and that hand tightly wrapped around Finn was the last indicator of wanting them to get closer.

“Do you have any questions on what I said?” even if his mind was an absolute mess, he would never let it show.

Finn had been listening very closely or at least his body language suggested so. He did seem more relaxed than ten minutes ago. 

Something entirely different, however, felt very unusual to Ben no matter how much he tried to ignore it. Poe was awfully quiet and if there is one personality trait Ben Solo could slap on top of Dameron’s head, it was loud. Dameron was a really, really loud, opinionated, passionate guy. 

“No. I think you explained it pretty neat. So, I guess it’s my turn then.” He was looking at Rey, who was nodding lightly to encourage him.

“There is nothing for you to be nervous about. I have already made my decision to fight for you and the whole point is for you to feel comfortable with me being around.” 

“I understand, it’s just still very hard to believe that you will help me. Most of my life, I’ve been alone. I’m an orphan, everything I’ve accomplished I’ve done on my own with my own blood, sweat and tears. I had to work ten times harder than anyone to achieve my dreams. And when I got the slightest bit of recognition after so many years of pain, suffering, fighting against a system that has declared me a loser before I was even born, I was accused of something that’s not even true. I have always avoided confrontation, I just don’t crave violence or negative emotions, but that day I just lost it” as most of his other clients Ben had been absolutely sure the boy will immediately start talking about the case at given the chance to. Seems like the slight nudging had worked wonders, so now he just had to do is concentrate and listen carefully. “they just flat out told me that they are revoking my scholarship with no chance to defend myself whatsoever. When I asked them for reasoning, they said they have grounds to believe I’ve to commit plagiarism in my theory that has been awarded the scholarship. Mr. Solo, if I could be very honest with you,” Ben nodded “there is no plagiarism in my study. Everything has been checked numerous times. If there had been any suspicion, I wouldn’t have been allowed to participate in said competition in the first place. The thing actually is that there is only one scholarship and they have awarded three years to me, meaning no one else can receive it in that time frame.” He stopped talking visibly upset. Ben felt where this was going and somehow he didn’t think the base of this case would be the study itself anymore. “There is this really rich kid, that got her way into the university and they want to give her the scholarships because the parents are “supporting” the university.”

“So you suppose foul play?” Poe interrupted very suddenly, bringing everyone’s attention to him. 

“I don’t suppose I am almost certain. I don’t even understand the driving force behind this decision. She doesn’t need the scholarship it will not profit off her career later as she is a company heir. I just don’t understand why they have to take it away from me?!” Finn’s eyes were tearing up from all the frustration, anger and pain. He had every right to feel that way. Ben felt a strong sense of guilt. He was also an heir and a part of him knew that if he had different parents, they wouldn’t have thought twice about making such a selfish decision. He was just lucky.

“Hey, we will win this, Finn! Don’t give up! You have me and Ben and Rose and Rey” Rose initially raised her eyebrows but quickly nodded soon after that, “on your side. And I can tell you that when we bite, we don’t let go.” Finn smiled lightly under the tears, while Rey was rubbing his back lovingly in an attempt to calm him down.

“Poe is right, Finn. We have the resources to go all in and we have the best private investigators in the game to help. You are not alone. I will fight not only for the release of the documents but also compensation for fraud committed on their part. When we are done with this, you’ll be settled well enough to go to a private university of your choice, where your talents will be explored the way you deserve.” Ben finished his coffee, looking at the clock. Eight-thirty. Time   
for his other business arrangement. His phone buzzed with a message from Candy. 

**/Candy (sub 2)/**  
I can’t wait to serve you soon sir. I’ll be in front of your house in thirty minutes. 

Ben put the phone back in his pocket all while making a sign to the waitress to bring the bill. Finn had calmed down and a fresh look of determination graced his features. 

“Mr Solo, have you come across my paper by any chance?” there was anticipation, hope in his voice.

“I have. I find it astonishing and believe you have the potential to become on the leading neuropsychologists in the world. The hypothesis you propose could potentially change the way we see memory storage. Also if what you suggest about the hippocampus is even remotely true, this could open a new field of research all by itself.”

He had read it before he even received the case. Finn was the youngest man to be put in the most prestigious psychological journal two years ago. Ben really enjoyed publications in the field of learning and memory neuroscience as it provided him with better alternatives for time management considering the abilities of his brain. 

“Thank you! This means the world to me. I had been working in the university on strengthening my hypothesis but…as we all know, I got cut off short.” The waitress brought the bill giving it to Poe who just tossed it at Ben knowingly.

“Ben? How much do we owe for our coffee?” For a moment Ben got distracted with real work and forgot about the ache in his chest caused by Rey just being there. She was still holding onto Finn, following closely every single word he was saying, patting his shoulder gently. 

He didn’t answer, just put the bill of hundred in it and got up. 

“You will have to excuse me. I have to take my leave for tonight as there is another urging appointment I have to attend to. I’m leaving you two in Poe and Rose’s hands although most probably I’m leaving Poe in yours” he looked at Rose.

“Nah, I’m about to show them some real good time” Ben’s eyes pierced through Poe as he erupted in laughter. 

“All you’ll show them is the way home, Dameron.” Rose admonished him.

“I hope to see you in my office sometime next week to discuss the details of the case.” Ben turned his attention to Finn.

“I will make sure to be there.” The shook hands.

Against all his principles of the gentlemen codex, Ben did not say anything to the last party on the table in hopes that this will be a strong enough to sign for her to reconsider her childish, trusting behaviour towards him. He was not his parents. He will not allow himself to get smitten by her eyes that contained the whole galaxy if one took their time to actually look at them. The fact somewhere in the back of his brain was he wished he did. Just look her in the eyes, to find himself in them. Yet again, one cannot find something that had been killed a long time ago.   
He turned on his heels, walking quietly out of the café that had slowly started to empty. Looking around to cross on the side-walk a small hand latched on his biceps obviously objectively unable hold his whole arm.

“Ben.”

No.

“Is something wrong? You haven’t spoken one word to me for the whole time in there, didn’t answer my question when I asked you about the bill and as petty as it sounds you didn’t say goodbye. I got concerned I did something wrong, so I just came out to ask you privately.”

“There is nothing wrong.” There’s a lot of things that are wrong, with him, not with her. “I am really running late so if you don’t mind-”

“I do mind a lot. There is obviously something wrong, just spit it out.” She gripped his muscle tighter, refusing to let him go.

“I am not obligated to.” His answer was dry, rehearsed, having said that same thing to many women before. 

“Benjamin!” Even he got startled at the use of his whole name, as much as she obviously was. 

That was the last drop, something inside Ben broke.

“What Rey?! What?! What do you want me to say?!” he yanked his hand out. “Can’t you see that this little crush you have on me, trying to be all pretty, dolled-up, it’s not working! This pretending you have that you care about me, is a joke really! I’m thirty, Rey! I don’t fuck around with girls!” fantastic Solo, keep digging your own grave. You’re doing marvelously. “What did you think was going to happen? That I’ll just fall in love with the ruffles on your skirt? Truly, what were you thinking, I’m curious to know.” He was spitting venom in her direction, seeing the way each word hit her, hurt her, the corners of her eyes tearing up. “My problem is you make me uncomfortable. This thing” he pointed in between them “that you think we have, it’s all in your head. We are not close, we are not friends, I am your boss! You are friends with my family. To me, you are just the latest intern instalment that will give up halfway through because I make lives a living hell. That’s my problem! Goodnight!”

Ben left her there crossing the street without batting an eye, the last thing he saw was the actual tear rolling down her eye. Ben did this. He made her cry and now there was no turning back. No Rey to meddle with his business, no Rey to distract him from his work, no Rey to make him question his control. But then again, no Rey to make him smile either. No chance of Rey helping him. Just…no Rey in his personal space whatsoever.

He couldn’t see how he got home, speeding through lights, making illegal turns, his head was empty, he truly didn’t think at that moment.

His phone had been ringing non-stop by either Candy, Joyce, Sheena, Mina, Joanne, Lina, mostly Candy given the night, yet he couldn’t care less about any bimbo.

By the time the car was parked in the underground garage, Ben had finally slowly restored a human state of mind leading him to soon realize his cheeks were wet. He had cried without realizing whatsoever. The oddity was Ben hadn’t cried for twenty years. And now all it took was breaking the heart of a fragile angel, she was actually an angel, no matter how much he wanted to convince himself she was the devil.

His phone continued to buzz all through the elevator ride until the doors opened and Candy’s blonde hair did not grace his sight.

“You are not answering your phone, sir. You are late.” The nickname made him nocuous. It felt wrong for the blonde to call him that. Rey. Rey could call him that and he would’ve fallen in her feet to apologize, but Candy now? No. 

Looking at her made him realize his taste in women had been trashed up and Nicole was the only one to blame. They all resembled her in some way expect for Rey. Rey was different in every single way and that was the entity of the whole problem.

“Go home, Candy. I’m not doing this tonight.” He opened his bag to search for his keys, lightly shoving the girl to the side. 

“You’re not doing what, sir? Are you playing with me now? I like really like this game.” She stuck to his back, grabbed him by the dick, making Ben see red. He had been hardly containing it as it was.

“I.said.go.home. Which part was so hard to understand?” he finally looked at her. She was pretty, he couldn’t deny that. But she was just bland, there was nothing he actually wanted from the girl. Her eyes were sad. She was in love with him, just another one in love so he genuinely didn’t give a single fuck about her feelings. She was not Rey, there was nothing about Candy that could be even slightly comparable to Rey. “When you came here for the first time I warned you, as I have every submissive before and after you. I’m not in love with any of you, I found you entertaining to have sex with. You agreed to my rules and assured me there would be nothing, yet as any other stupid little girl that has walked through this door, you fell in love” he felt an unusual type of anger for which Candy was not be blamed for. He was projecting his enormous guilt on the confusion of this girl. Yet his voice remained calm and collected. “It’s not my problem. You agreed to this. I don’t need you anymore, therefore I am very politely asking you to leave with your dignity and head held high.” Something he didn’t give the chance to Rey to do. ‘You just left her there on the sidewalk. Prick.’ He found his keys and opened the door. 

“Or else?” her voice annoyed him. Fucking stupid brat. Always riling him until he fucks her and she can’t breathe, this was the only way to keep her stupid trap shut. Closing his eyes, he breathed in three times before turning around to look, only to see, she had taken off her coat.

“Let me rephrase it for the last time – this Fifty Shades of Grey fantasy you have that you can fix me is your problem, not mine. There is nothing for you to fix,” there was too much to fix and the only one who could possibly fix it, Ben pushed away in the ugliest, most cowardly way. “I’m not remotely interested in you or any of my other submissives. I used each of you for sex and each of you eagerly agreed to it. That’s it. You are not my…whatever the main protagonist in that franchise name is, you are just the HR secretary that I fucked. I don’t want to fuck you no more. Put your coat back on and leave.” She had tears in her eyes, looking him up and down, obviously contemplating whether or not she should slap him. None of that made him even twitch.  
Ben came closer, leaning down to get on her level. “Let me assist you.” Her hand found his cheek in a matter of seconds. It didn’t sting one bit given other slaps, spanks and hits he’s been through.

“You are a monster, Solo.” Her make-up was running down her cheeks, which Ben found amusing. He had to admit she had put in the effort for him at the very least. Her sadness however somehow awakened the worst part of him, the one he continuously tried to bury deep inside. The side he so frantically tried to hide from the one whose opinion he cared about, that side that even he feared, the one showing exactly how fucked up he was. But today. Today had been too much, too much in each and every sense of the word. Ben gave up fighting and just let the demons loose. 

A lazy, sadistic, sinister smirk covered his sharp features, as he looked her dead in the eyes.

“Yes. Yes, I am.” He said, closing the door to his apartment.

That night Ben didn’t sleep well. Rey hunted his dreams. He had been holding her small crying porcelain face, leaning down to kiss it when she called him a monster. Soon after she morphed into Nicole and a scene with young Ben. She was holding him down between her legs as he did his best to be good.

“Mistress…”

“My beautiful Solo boy, I’ll love you…forever, even when I’m dead. Mommy will always love you.” 

Her voice had merged with Rey’s.

“No!”

Ben shouted in the empty bedroom, awakening rapidly, sitting straight on the bed, drops of sweat covering his naked torso. Looking at the moon, he just whispered lowly:

“So this is your revenge.” Before the tears quietly rolled down his eyes.

_Epilogue_

Leia was sitting on the balcony, drinking her night tea with jasmine and chamomile for better sleep when she noticed something peculiar, which piqued her interest while at the same   
awakened an anxious feeling. 

“Han, come here!” she shouted shakily.

Han came out of the bedroom, holding his glass of nightcap whiskey a little confused.

“What happened, are you okay?”

“Yes, of course, don’t be ridiculous. Look.”

Han looked down at where Leia was pointing a concerned puff leaving his lips.

“You think it’s a sign?” Leia got up still fixing her eyes on her discovery.

“You better pray they are correct.”

The camellias so keen on hanging over the roses had turned in a way they were now protecting the hyacinths.

“Only she can save him.” Leia finished her tea, going inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I was Rey I would've just slapped him, not gonna lie.
> 
> I'll love to hear your feedback!  
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> Or talk to me on my CC  
> [Li](https://curiouscat.qa/Drivervelvet)


	4. Poe's side quest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Was it ethical? Probably not. 
> 
> Not that anything with a brand Poe Dameron was ethical. 
> 
> Most of the time it was risky business. 
> 
> But was it worth it? Absolutely. 
> 
> His warm chocolate eyes were incredibly worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little special to me.  
> As a queer person it sort of represents how I want people to react when I come out to them.  
> It focuses on Poe and Finn's relationship, as well as Poe and Ben's friendship from Poe's perspective.  
> I want to dedicate it to [Becca](https://twitter.com/beccastanz) , who just needs her rising skirt Rey soon, so she pushed me to finish this chapter.

Was it ethical? Probably not. Not that anything with a brand Poe Dameron was ethical. Most of the time it was risky business. But was it worth it? Absolutely. His warm chocolate eyes were incredibly worth it.

“Good morning, handsome. How did you sleep?”

“Uhm, other than the fact you snore in a really bizarre way, I slept well. Your chest is pretty comfortable, Dameron.” He planted a kiss on Poe’s temple.

Poe could get lost in Finn’s eyes over and over again and relive each of their memories time and time again. But for now he was absolutely satisfied with lazy morning cuddling. 

“Don’t forget your meeting with Ben today.”

“I’m a college student in summer vacation at an ice cream stand job. I will surely not forget that I have a meeting with my lawyer. What you don’t want me to forget is that in front of him we don’t know each other. I get it baby. But at some point, you’ll have to tell him.” There was no rebuke in Finn’s voice, yet Poe couldn’t help but be unable to see past the guilt. He shouldn’t be treating Finn as a stranger, he was not in any sense of the word that. 

“I will. I promise I will. It’s just not easy coming out to your best friend of fifteen years as a bisexual. Besides he is really weird and I’m not sure how he’ll react. More like I’m afraid how he’ll react and that’s not your fault really.” 

Finn got up hovering over Poe as a delicate golden chain hung loosely around his neck. “I know, I’m not pressuring you, I’m just saying you’ll have to tell him soon. It’s been some time since we’ve been on this.”

It’s been a month to be precise. In all honesty, the time flew by in a flash for Poe. The night after the café, he couldn’t stop thinking about Finn’s energetic eyes, his radiant smile, the way he looked better than any men or woman Poe had ever been with, so it was really easy to ask him out the day after to go for a beer, hoping that at the very least they can be friends.

Turned out pretty fast, it was not only Poe who had noticed the chemistry between them and one beer led to another, which eventually led to Poe’s bedroom and the greatest sex he had ever had. And so this continued every night since then with no intentions for a change. Pairing up with the monstrous sex were feelings and just in the matter of two weeks, Poe was ready to ask the genius nerdy boy to move in with him. No more preparing Ben’s subs or vice versa, no more subs of his own, for the first time ever he felt he was ready to commit. The thought should’ve terrified him but it didn’t, not at all.  
He felt the happiest he had ever been. 

Picking up Finn after his work at “Cone-cracker” had quickly developed into his favourite routine task, alongside spending crazy money at the place just for Finn to get his tip. Finn undeniably humble didn’t just accept the tip, instead shared it with his shift colleagues and the owners, an elderly couple of Vietnamese decadence.

Long story short Poe, the six children on the street and the soccer moms from the nearby “Soccer Junior league” camp kept the little shop alive, nonetheless, Finn refused to work anywhere else. His loyalty, generosity and overall proud behaviour made Poe fall even deeper for him.

Getting up on his elbows their lips met in a tender kiss, Finn’s hands grabbed onto Poe’s locks and they got tangled in the sheets once again.

“I’ll be” kiss “late” kiss “for work.” Kiss “You have to tell me to just go to work or else I won’t.” 

Finn chuckled holding onto his neck. “Go to work.”

Poe didn’t even make the slightest effort to move. “Should I?”

“Yes, you have to go to work, knucklehead. I have a meeting with Kaydell who saw the new owner of my scholarship money and said she could dig around a little.”

Kaydel Co Konix was nothing short of a household name in the industry of fashion, who meddled with the art of neuropsychology for fun. The socialite could find anything about anyone in the span of twenty-four hours give or take. As of the urgency of the matter, she managed to answer Finn in less than ten having been his friend for the last two years of university.

“Okay, okay, I’ll go.” Poe kissed Finn’s forehead getting up, trying to find his towel to get a shower in the mess the bedroom was. “By the way, do you have work after that?” a new towel got pulled out as laziness took over Poe. Looking around for one last time, Finn was the only clean thing on that floor. Poe definitely had to call his cleaning lady today. 

“Of course, I still need to collect enough for this month’s rent.” The drawer shut down loudly, Poe turned around abruptly, looking Finn straight in the eyes.

“Move in with me.”

“What?” the boy was struck, unable to comprehend the proposition.

“Move in with me. The apartment is huge and I live all alone. Having you here will make coming home so much better.”

“Poe, we’ve been on it for a month not two years, it’s a little fast, don’t you think? I mean your best friend still doesn’t know about us and you are out here asking me to move in with you, which is extremely cute and I would love to, but I’m not sure you won’t regret it, since you just…one month…”

“What if I tell Ben? Today. Would that make a difference? Of course, you are absolutely free to decline the offer if you don’t feel ready for such commitment. I really don’t want to pressure you-” Poe had started stuttering, unsure if he blew his chances completely, if he was too rush and accidently made Finn uncomfortable which had been in no way his intention, but it just flew out his mouth and now there was no turning back.

“Poe. Poe! Calm down. I don’t feel pressured. I really really like you. I’m more concerned if you actually want me here or is it because you still find me new and attractive. It could make a difference not going to lie about it. If you’re willing to come out to your friend, I am more inclined to believe you, although it does still feels a little like you just want to rush it.”

Poe sat down at the edge of the bed, unsure if he should say what he was about to, nonetheless, it just felt right.

“I have actually never felt like I have with you. I don’t really know what I’m doing, all I know is that I want you as close to me as possible and am very afraid of losing you.” He didn’t dare look at the boy, afraid his confession is going to be too heavy and it will cause Finn to leave.

“Well,” Finn sat next to him “that would make two of us then. Uhm, you are my first re-are we even a relationship?”

“I really want us to be.” Poe mustered the courage to look him in the eyes. They were shining, so sincere and full of hope.

“Okay, then you are my first relationship and not a Grindr one-night stand, so… I think I’m just as afraid as you are. Let’s say I couldn’t afford my rent this month and need a place to crash…are you sure you want me?”

“Fuck yes!” Poe jumped him, pinning him beneath him.

“Okay, but I’m not living here rent-free. I’m doing house chores when you’re gone at the very least.”

“I-you won’t back down from this, will you?” Finn shook his head.

“No. I will not.”

“Very well then, whatever will make you most comfortable.” Poe looked at the time. “Ah shit, he’ll kill me.” 

He jumped from the bed, rushing towards the bathroom to get a quick cold shower before getting dressed and rushing to meet Ben grumpy Solo, who had been ever grumpier than usual.

Well, it was nearing the 3rd of July, which always meant he’ll be harder to deal with than usual, but Poe tried his best not to judge him. Maybe it also has a connection with Rey. Most probably it did. She had also been more quiet than usual. Something changed after the café between them and every single person in ten-meter proximity to either of them could recognize it. 

Rey avoided every possible confrontation with Ben, if she could talk to Poe, she did. Whenever Poe would ask all she would do is look at the floor and whisper to herself “It truly doesn’t matter.”

Ben, on the other hand, had hardened, limiting his visits, which again wasn’t unusual for this time of the year, nonetheless he seemed colder by leaps and bounds from when Rey was closer…a Spidey sense had awakened in Poe as a starlight realisation hit him.

The water stopped, Poe wrapped the towel around his torso, while the cold breeze coming from the bedroom window hit his skin.

“I prepared you some clothes since you know, you’ll be late because of me. I’ll hit the shower now. See you at the meeting.” Finn kissed Poe cheek before the door of the bathroom closed behind him.

Poe got dressed as fast as he could, looking at the mirror noticing Finn even managed to iron his t-shirt, something he wouldn’t do himself. “Time to run now, butterflies in the stomach later.” He mumbled to himself, running out.

Ten fifteen, almost on time. The elevator was extra packed so Poe opted for the stairs. Even if he had to climb twenty floors it was easier than stopping on each one. Wiping the sweat off his forehead, Poe unceremoniously entered Ben’s office.

“You’re late.” Of course, he’ll scold him.

“Yes. I am. Traffic. Ever heard of it?” 

“Hi Poe.” Rey’s smile was the only thing brightening up the otherwise dull space, additionally weighted down by Ben’s heavy stare and posture. July the 3rd really was just around the corner.

“Hello, sweetheart! So what are we waiting for? Let’s begin.”

In the matter of an hour, Poe and Ben managed to argue on almost every point of Rey’s report.

“We can’t have higher rates – No! Are you listening to yourself? Who will sell to us at such a price? Solo! A crisis is coming!”

“Exactly, which means they’ll be willing to lower down the prices for a kilogram.”

Ben was becoming cynical and it had nothing to do with the rates at which they bought rubber at. Just three more days, let them pass, Lord, please. Poe also had to talk to him today or he would never muster the courage to tell him the truth. It was about to be one really, really tough day.

“No. It means they’ll go up.”

“I don’t feel like arguing with you.” Ben was massaging his temple, clearly in an attempt to assert control over his own mind.

“Then don’t.” They were never good at calm conversations anyway. As long as they knew each other, Ben and Poe have been stepping on each other’s tails like Tom and Jerry, fighting in circles, never actually mean to each other.

“Fine.”

“Fine. Rey, sunshine, is that all of the report?” 

The poor girl was not at fault for being in the middle of this. Yet, Poe did not miss the concerned look on her face when Ben closed his eyes, who passed in a flash the moment he opened them, her gaze jumping to Poe. 

“Yes…that’s the last part. Finn should be here any minute now, so I’ll go get him if…that’s okay.” She was carefully looking at Poe, again avoiding any type of contact to Ben.

The Spidey-sense kicked once more, confirming Poe's suspicions. Ben did do something stupid that either scared or upset her.

Poe only nodded as she proceeded to exit the room.

“Why are you an asshole except for the very apparent reason?”

“It’s really not the time for you to be testing my patience.” Ben continued to pretend there was something vital on his laptop but Poe knew better than that. He would always act distracted in such situations to avoid being held responsible. So Poe did Ben a favour by shutting his laptop, forcing him to have this conversation.

“Fuck off you and your patience. We are both painfully aware that you can’t pull this shit with me, never were able, never will be. Snap out of it, because this is not her fault and whatever you did, apologize for it.”

“No.”

“Why?”

“Fuck off.” He attempted to open his laptop again, but was unable to do so, given Poe’s hand was still on top of it.

“Why?” Poe knew he was pushing it, nonetheless, it felt like the only way to make him talk.

“Dameron-” Ben’s voice turned into barely a whisper.

“Why?”

Ben turned, slamming his fists on the table, scaring even Poe.

“Because I like her and I rather her being afraid of me than confessing my feelings!” his voice had risen to a shout loud enough to show he was actually torn but not loud enough for the whole office to hear.

“So he does have feelings.” By the look on his face, this was the first time Ben had admitted to himself that he was actually head over heels.

“Yes, he does and he hates every second of it. It’s…I said things that…should never be said to anyone. Her anger is justified, but-”

Rey and Finn came into view from the side of the elevator.

“We need to talk after this meeting is over.” Poe took one last glance at his lover before preparing his laptop.

“I have another one after-”

“We need to talk, Ben.” They had to. It was now or never.

“Mr. Solo, nice to see you again!” and so they began.

The meeting was essentially a three-hour deep-dive into Finn’s education and how his defence should be planned out. In all honesty, Poe didn’t know what exactly was his role in this case, he was a PR. Ben didn’t point it out, obviously nervous of what was so vitally important to discuss after that.

What Finn found out from Kaydell was enough to set off Ben’s private investigators on the run for evidence. The girl inheriting Finn’s scholarship went by the name of Katherine Dreemman. Both Ben and Poe as it turned out were well acquainted with her brother Cory Dreemman – old high school classmate that never failed to achieve what he wanted through his father’s money and come on top of the class. Clearly, that had been the case for his dear old sister only this time both Ben and Poe had the power to put an end to it.

“Mr. Solo, I really do enjoy this conversation, however, I have to leave. My shift starts in twenty minutes and I’ll already be late as it with public transport and so. You’ll have to excuse me.” The boy’s tone was gentle nervous he may step on Ben’s foot in a wrong way.

“No, of course, that’s okay. I’ll call one of our drivers, he’ll assist you to your workplace, assuming it will be faster. Where do you work again?”

“Buck street lane, seventy-six.”

“Buck street lane, seventy-six.”

Their voices came out in complete harmony, Poe wishing nothing more than to sink into the ground in that particular second. 

Ben Solo, being the great tactic he was didn’t comment on it, simply ringing his phone for one of his mother’s chauffer’s Mitaka to prepare the car.

Rey throughout the whole time had kept quiet, eyes glued to the floor, absolutely unwilling to look up almost as if their eyes met endless curses would flow out her mouth. Not that he would blame her in all honesty. He didn’t dare look at her too and Ben Solo was certainly not a man afraid of looking people in the eyes.

A familiar tone of the receptionist desk ringed through the room, alerting them of Mitaka’s presence at the front parking.

“It was a pleasure, Mr. Solo. Hoping to hear from you again in two to three days.”

“Pleasure is all mine, Finn.” They shook hands as Ben’s eyes swiftly jumped to Rey in a professional, distanced way, Poe was all too familiar with. “Ms. Johnson, you can take the rest of the day off seeing your work has been efficient and of quality. As a matter of fact, I would not be needing you for the rest of the week.” He sat back down without sparing her a second glance.

It was a Monday, for anyone unaware. It’s not that he didn’t need her, he couldn’t stand looking at her with her broken green eyes, especially with July the third coming just around the corner, that would break him completely.

“Are you sure, sir?” her voice as even out as it attempted to be still couldn’t mask the slight timbers of worry.

Poe glanced at the handle of the chair on which his best friend sat, his knuckles white. Ben was in too much pain at that moment to properly process anything that much was clear.

“Yes.”

The tone left no place for discussion. Rey bowed really lightly, waved at Poe quietly and exited the room, chasing down her best friend. She was probably going to help out at the ice cream shop, knowing how tight these two were.

“What did you want to discuss?”

Honourable attempt on Ben’s side to sound as dismissive as he was with Rey. The only difference is he was clearly aware of the fact these type of numbers did not fly with Poe.

Although in all honesty right this second Poe felt the urge to throw up from nerves. They have been together for fifteen years. Surely they’ve shared women, apartments, alcohol and whatever else, however admitting to being queer meant that Ben’s light on their friendship may shift in a negative way, something Poe himself was not ready to go through.

Here went nothing.

“I am bi.”

“So?” Ben looked at Poe’s stressed expression without a shadow of surprise or judgement.

“So?! Is that all you have to say?!” he shouted in disbelief.

“Yes. What does it matter?” Ben turned back to his laptop and whatever document was on it.

“So…it won’t change anything…”

“It won’t as long as you don’t show up on Finn’s court date.” The ends of his lips curled upwards in what Poe would only describe as a smirk.

“You knew…” 

Poe had always been the one to be on top of everyone, the witty one, the ‘I know everything’ guy, the best friend with an advice. For so long he thought Ben did not take notice of his emotions, but the brute had been quietly observing…like always in his life. Supporting quietly from the side. For whatever reason, this revelation made Poe feel secure, sort of complete in a sense.

“How hard do you think is it to put two and two together, I’m a lawyer and more specifically your best friend. And what I think about it should be irrelevant to your relationship Poe. I’ve always known, I think, but it was never my place to come and bug you about it. If it took you fifteen years to trust me with it, so be it. Your life, your pace. Is that the immensely important thing you wanted to talk about-”

“Don’t push Rey away.”

It came out of nowhere, Poe’s mouth working faster than his consciousness and more specifically his tact.

“I don’t know what you did, but whatever it was, you certainly need to at least apologize for it. And since this is something you never do in your life, it should go something like that ‘hello, Rey. Can we see each other after work? There is something I want to apologize for.’”

“No. I will not do that. I can’t afford continuously to hurt people around me because of my own problems. Especially not someone I am afraid I care too much about. I did what I did intentionally and I’m not backing down from it.”

Ben hit ‘sent’ on his email, closing the laptop, proceeding to walk to the door in an attempt to leave behind this immensely uncomfortable situation for him.

“You can’t run forever.”

“I’ll try.” Ben sighed, the sound broken, drenched in pain.

“And when you can’t no more? Will you just accept the fact you’re losing someone who actually cared about you, right through your fingers? This is not Nicole, Ben.”

Her mention never failed to trigger every last of his best friend’s overly-emotional states. The one true scar…but they couldn’t tiptoe around it forever, playing around like everything was okay, when in fact this name had brought unspeakable amounts of pain to the Solo family and in particular Ben.

“If I’m around it could very well be.”

“She is dead Ben! Dead! And it was never your fault! Until when will you blame yourself?!”

Poe’s anger surrounding the topic had also been something he never got to get around. Maybe because he blamed himself for everything that happened ten years ago.

“I am late for a meeting. I’ll see you tomorrow, Poe. I’m happy for you. Be happy!”

The door closed with a soft sound leaving Poe alone, bearing his own guilt.

# Epilogue

The moon was hanging high in the sky, round and white, when Poe, Finn, Rose and Rey managed to move everything from Finn’s one-room flat to Poe’s three-bedroom apartment. 

“And that should be the last one.” Poe put down the box in their bedroom, looking around. 

“Burgers are ready.”

Not only was Finn a sight to behold, the boy was so skilled in anything he touched it was astonishing really. His smile changed the entire atmosphere of the apartment – it went from a lone wolf cave to a cosy, domestic home and Poe couldn’t be happier about it as he watched his boyfriend flip Rose’s veggie burger, before putting them all in plates he found in one of the drawers. Of course, none of them had been touched, Poe wasn’t the best cook, neither did he have the time. If Ben was here he would’ve told him “There is one thing I will forever be better than you in and that would be to even pre-heat food.”

They didn’t really speak after Monday. According to his mom, he buried himself in his work. Even on the faithful July third, his light had been flickering in the office until the early morning. 

Following Rey, as she made her way across the table, helping with whatever she could, radiant with her positivity, Poe truly wished Ben was here. A part of him truly missed his best friend.

“Love, are you okay? We are ready to eat.” Finn asked, his voice sounding much further than he actually stood.

Poe didn’t even realize how he had been standing in the same place, eyes fixed on his friends.

“No, I’m okay.” They all sat down.

“I wish he could be here too.” Rose patted her best friend’s shoulder tenderly, even motherly.

“I don’t. He would’ve ruined the overall positive vibe.” Rey’s eyes widen as her hand clapped around her mouth immediately regretting the slip.

Everyone grew quiet. Poe felt irritation bubble in his core. There was still so much masked pain in Rey’s eyes. Despite how well she tried to play the part, the girl was in love and there was no denying that. The guilt once again weighted down on his consciousness, the feeling almost suffocating. Taking one last look at Rose, who was very much aware of what was to follow, offered an understanding nod to Poe.

Ben will have to forgive him.

“Rey, there is something you need to know about Ben.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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	5. The one in which the hyacinths cried

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “There is not much that you need to know before I start this story. You’ve all met Ben, some of you have even had the pleasant experience of encountering his temper tantrums head-on.” Poe circled a glass of whiskey looking at the table with hollow eyes. “This won’t do. I need the whole bottle to tell this story.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !READ THE TAGS, PLEASE!   
> I don't want to trigger anyone.  
>  I assure that even if you can't read this chapter, I've done my best to make sure you can still read the next one.  
> Please be safe and don't force yourself to read something, just because you want to see where it's going.  
> Again, I'm making sure that the next one is clear enough so you could ride off immediately.  
> For those who will read - get some tissues.

“There is not much that you need to know before I start this story. You’ve all met Ben, some of you have even had the pleasant experience of encountering his temper tantrums head-on.” Poe circled a glass of whiskey looking at the table with hollow eyes. “This won’t do. I need the whole bottle to tell this story.”

“No. You don’t.” Rose gently patted his shoulder, Finn taking on the free hand of his lover in a reassuring manner. “We can’t always run away from it, Poe. We have to try to make them understand without getting drunk in a countless attempt to forget.”

Rey noticed a muscle under the man’s eye twitched in discomfort. What had she done? 

Truthfully, Rey demanded an answer for Ben’s actions. Granted, it’s been a month since he publicly humiliated her in the middle of the street and since then hadn’t uttered a single word of remorse, yet Rey, despite her best attempts, did not manage to stop the tears from flowing every time she heard his venomous voice in her head.

‘This thing between us, there’s nothing there.’

The feelings that had been buried so deep ever since they met erupted on the sidewalk as she broke down right on time for Rose to find her and with the most loving embrace bring Rey home to her parents.

Her mother had cuddled her to sleep that night muttering whatever reassuring words came to mind into her hair. 

On the weekend Leia came by and brought the famous crème caramel de la heartbreak with wild berries alongside a bouquet of fresh hyacinths. “For my playful girl.” read the tag. Rey knew she could never tell either of her mother figures why she was upset. Some excuse about a frat boy breaking her heart, a secret crush, was the best shot at adverting the topic of reasoning. In the end, they either believed her or accepted the fact she won’t come out with the truth and gave up on interrogating her any further.

Clearly, though no nice food or comforting words could make up for the way Benjamin Solo had taken advantage of her biggest fear in the world – watching the people she is attached to leave. And he made sure she watched him cross that street further and further away. 

As an orphan, Rey struggled with abandonment issues the most. Despite not wanting to know the identities of her real parents, since shouting in their face will not help to minimize the damage already caused, there was always the feeling that the Johnson’s will also throw her away at some point - by the side of a dumpster…the way her birth parents had.

Seeing him leave unlocked the deepest level of fear and self-hatred, one that was truly reserved only for her birth parents. But unlike them, somewhere along the line, Rey had fallen in love with Ben, in love with his little habits, his will to hide his massive size and the gentle way he had treated her.

So Rey demanded to know if it was all an act. Had she fallen in love with a façade? Because that’s how it felt for the longest time now.

“Nicole. Her name was Nicole. We, the three of us – me, Ben and Rose, all attended a private boarding school in Spain. Back then, as funny as it may sound to you, Ben was nothing like what he is now. In fact, his dream was…don’t laugh…to be a play director.”

“A what?!” Finn exclaimed “My lawyer…a director? At like…a theatre?”

“Precisely. See…his talents are versatile. Ben was born this way, but his knack for art was, still is, just on another level. In all honesty, it was me who always strived for this corporate lifestyle we are all now living. Ben dreamed of directing a Broadway musical. We were the closest of friends, very normal high school kids – we partied, snuck alcohol, I and Rose made out-”

“Absolutely irrelevant to the story Dameron.” Rose made a sour face to which Poe lightly stuck his tongue out in a friendly manner. 

Rey glanced at Finn afraid, he’ll get wrong ideas. She knew her best friend. He was shy and just like her, suffering from attachment issues, part of which were jealousy once one found a compatible partner. 

Surprisingly though the boy was relaxed, grinning even, resting his head on his lover’s shoulder. 

Rey was happy for Finn. He finally seemed at peace, acting like there was a place he could call home. Made her think if the only chance of experiencing such a peaceful life was taken away by the one who could provide it for her. That’s what she could’ve had…maybe…most probably not.

“Anyway, all was well and good until the beginning of sophomore year. That’s when she entered our lives. She wasn’t supposed to but he must have seen her walking down the hallway. Nicole was a radiant woman. I can’t deny that. Blonde short bob and a nice, reassuring smile. She passed us as if it meant nothing but for Ben, the world must have stopped spinning as we quite literally had to drag him down the hallway. We had art history. Imagine everyone’s surprise when that same woman, supposedly around thirty-year-old walks in and introduces herself as ‘Nicole Switz’ our art teacher. I remember Ben’s jaw was on the floor. And let me tell you, at the time, we didn’t have a clue of what was about to unfold…and it wasn’t pretty.” Poe took a sip, the ice hitting the glass delicately mimicking Rey’s heart hitting at her ribcage. “Now you have to understand that at the time Benny boy wasn’t exactly every high school girl’s dreamlike he is now. He was uncomfortably tall, his cute ears were sticking out of a short cut hair and he was clumsy…lord if he wasn’t the clumsiest person on Earth. We should’ve noticed something when suddenly in the middle of the year he came to me and asked for advice on sex confidently, face to face, instead of saying the phrase ‘you know’ like thousand times. By then I had already fucked like half the school, no gender difference” he laughed at the memory “I knew girls liked to be roughed up a bit more often than not so I was more than willing to share my expertise on the matter and I did. I told him everything he needed to know suspecting he was about to fuck one of the juniors who was very much down for climbing the tree Ben Solo was. After that day, no matter how much I bugged him about it, he would dismiss and say it fell through-” his voice strained, some unspoken pain, held Poe Dameron by the throat.

Rose sighed.

“I’ll continue. He changed. Slowly but surely. Ben became more and more confident every day, his style changed. It became increasingly more expensive and stylish. He would tell more jokes, communicate with people who were not us, in particular though, more boys. That’s totally okay of course, Poe was more than happy to finally be able to bring his best friend with him to parties…there are nights I would like to forget. That’s when I caught him red-handed. It was a Friday, I’ll never forget, classes had just finished and I saw Ben, who would usually be in his room with Poe at that point, walk in Switz’s classroom. Him being the art fanatic he was; I didn’t think much of it. Additional lessons and consultation were nothing unheard of, quite the contrary. The difference was, they walked out together, got in her car and drove off. I don’t know how to explain to you that sophomore students are not allowed to leave the premise unless they had special approval from the board committee and the board committee wants to keep the students on campus for two reasons – one, to control them and two to make them spend more money since everything in the school was more expensive, so such tickets of freedom do not come by often and there was nothing wrong with Ben for him to even apply for one. I pretended I saw nothing for several days until I could get him on his own and that’s when I cornered him and confronted him about it. He told me that he had a consultation on that day with our math’s teacher. I knew he was lying, I saw him leave with my own two eyes and if you ask me why I decided to not bother him about it instead of reporting Switz then and there, I have no explanation…maybe we could’ve avoided fifteen years of damage, but at the time I knew that if I report Switz, she will report Ben and they would’ve kicked him out.”

“I, on the other hand, being the self-absorbed person that I was, didn’t even think about asking him about his change or confronted him when Rose shared what she saw. I just…dismissed it, thought how his life is his own business, all because I liked having my friend to goof around with. And so we let it by all the way to graduation.”

“Okay, I’m sorry, but there are some colossal holes in this story…I literally understood nothing.” Finn was never one to miss being observant, but Rey agreed. All of this told her nothing, explained nothing.

“Because we haven’t gotten to the part where all the holes get filled with a single climactic event.” Poe cut off the tension with a knife, his serious voice startling even his lover. “Three days before we were due to leave Spain for university, having graduated and all, we get a call from the school. It demanded Ben’s immediate presence at the local police station. When I tell you…nothing could’ve prepared me or Rose for what was to come…I mean it. The principal and a whole fucking station of police officers, plus a detective, who introduced himself as ‘Mr. Marin, suicide detective’ were there. Switz had committed suicide and had left a suicide note that-” Poe’s voice cracked, his hands shook uncontrollably but he didn’t stop talking “..th…that read: 

‘You refused to be mine forever, my dear boy. I see you believed you’ll be free if you fly away from me. I can’t come with you, so mommy had to think of a way to be with you forever and there was no better way than for my soul to travel with yours. I’m doing this for you, for our love, because you are forever mine, right? That’s what you promised me and you broke it, so now I have to make this sacrifice for our love. No one will ever love you the way I did, no one will ever fix you from now on. You are mine. Forever yours, mommy.’

“Ben…did not tremble, he didn’t let out a single tear, nothing. When I looked at him then, I saw his eyes and they were empty. It made me realize they had been just pitch black for years. I can’t verbalize correctly the ice that dripped down his voice when he returned the note. All he said was ‘Is that all? I have a plane to catch in three days.’ And left. I and Rose ran after him, but he was hollow. Walking like a zombie, as if contemplating taking his own life. We tried to push him back but he just continued walking. Truly as if there was no one there – a shell of a man. If it hadn’t been for his mother…” Poe seemed to have lost the last bit of energy that he possessed and stopped talking, finishing the rest of his drink in one go.

“We were ready to knock him out if we had to when he stopped on his own. We were both pushing at his chest to bring him back when he stopped dead at the entrance. A cry of the word ‘mom’, resembling that of a very hurt child, reached us so we turned around with the speed of lightning and there she was, like an angel, Leia Organa stood at the stairs, so we let him go and…” Rose wept silently “we just let him go. He broke down in his mother’s arms. This giant boy broke down at the sight of his own mother. I don’t know how but she managed to convince him to go back inside the station. His father arrived soon after. They didn’t allow any of us in the interrogation room while the detective talked with Ben. After that, I and Poe left for China on our own and Ben went back home. He studied remotely for some time, wrote a good morning and good night text in the group so we would know he is alive and safe. On the third year, he physically showed up at the university, sat us down, told us about his therapist and his advice to open up slowly to those who matter to him the most. ‘I have to start with you two, or I’ll never start.’ is how he began his monologue. Can you-”  
The story drained them with every sentence they added.

“I can finish yes. It all started with legit after-school lessons on art history. Ben was particularly intrigued with Renaissance art and the material at school had not sufficed for him, but he was already attracted to her and lied to himself that all he wanted to do was get a better education. So she took advantage of that and in the middle of a lesson kissed him. He was as any fifteen-year-old in love with his teacher, thrilled when she assured him that she reciprocated his feelings so this will be their little secret. Ben imagined secret dates and picnics, but he got an apartment resembling a sex dungeon and a whole new view on life. She had started out slowly – took his virginity, according to his words rather gently, as any abuser started limiting his contacts, first cutting off his mother as she was strikingly aware exactly who Leia Organa was and what she could do if she was to ever find out her son was abused. Then slowly started physically, sexually and mentally abusing him, I don’t want to get into details, it’s genuinely too disturbing, until he was so attached to her and she to him that when Ben tried to escape by informing Nicole he will be leaving for China with us, she tried to hit him unconscious with a bat, but at that time Ben was already the mountain of a man you and I know today, so he overpowered her with ease and left. Nicole Switz just blew him away by killing herself for him. That’s…it…in general.”

Rey was speechless, quiet tears rolling down her eyes. Finn just stood there, processing the information quietly. Rose was sniffing and Poe just looked exhausted.

“Poe…”

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“What is Ben doing on Fridays? Be very careful what you’ll tell me.” She was determined, her brows slightly furrowed, cheeks wet.

“Receives love the only way he knows how to give-”

“Poe-” Rey couldn’t recognize her own voice, the edge being new, possessive.

“There are those…dominant-submissive practices he and I engaged in.”

“What?!” Finn pulled his hand away from Poe. Defence…mistrust, familiar feelings.

“No, no, I quit when I met you. I’ll show you the texts if you want.” The man’s voice shook trying to grab the boy back. Finn nodded, hesitantly allowing to be touched again.

“Yes, but not because I don’t trust…yeah, I don’t trust you this much yet.”

Poe immediately pulled out his phone and gave it Finn, seemingly having forgotten about Rey’s question as a whole, the comfort of his boyfriend becoming the number one priority. So that’s how romantic love looked like…

“Here read whatever with whoever you want.”

“Tell me about those practices.” 

“Rey…”

“I want to know.”

“This is his life-” 

“And the lies I’ve been fed. Answer the question Dameron.” he fidgeted uncomfortably like a deer cornered by a hunter. Rey felt like a hunter for the first time in her life. The answer to the question was crucial for her decision on whether or not to pursue the maybe childish, but emotional idea that had been forming at the back of her head.

Rose’s lips tugged in a proud smile. In the last month, they grew really close – Rey relied on Rose, trusted her with the truth and she was nothing short of supportive every time Rey would go down to technical with another ‘mouse problem’. They went to the cinema, a few shopping trips, texted each other all the time. The way Rose was looking at her right now was knowing. She knew both Rey and Ben which gave her a head start to the others.

“Answer her, Poe.”

“You have heard of BDSM, right? What Nicole did to Ben, she called MDBL or mommy dom and boy little. It could be a very healthy dynamic but as we established, theirs wasn’t. Nicole would proclaim her love for Ben by quite literally whipping him, burning his skin with a lighter and calling it a punishment if he as much as dared to look at another girl, woman, his own mother on Christmas photos. Yeah, sure, you can say there are people in this world who enjoy these kinks, but they are adults…the first time she made him bleed, he was fifteen. So it being his first relationship, Ben was groomed into believing this is how love looked like. You hurt and after that tell them how good they were for you. When he came to China after that, claiming he was better, healed, behind closed doors, he had started practising being a dominant, a hard one, again, unhealthy, uncontrolled. Enter me. By that point, I had my own experiences in the scene, but I had read and watched a lot of knowledge videos before reaching out for a real dom to teach me. When Ben came to tell me he had made someone bleed in a fit of rage…it was ugly. The girl didn’t mind it really, again there are such people, it was him who got triggered by the sight of blood, so we made a pact. We do this thing together, so I can help him control himself and he would enjoy it without panicking or overdoing it. With the years he got so much control over his own emotions and actions he didn’t need me anymore. There was just that one time when a woman called him ‘daddy’. Poor girl didn’t know any better. Ben despises being called that, it reminds him of Nicole and of the fact he is also inflicting some type of pain, despite it being consensual. I stopped the play then, it was luck I was in his apartment, but usually, I just walk his women inside, show them the guest room where these things are practised - he hates mixing his personal life with every other venture, so the bedroom is absolutely out of the question.” Rey knew that. It was one of the very first things he told her and yet allowed for their lives to intertwine to the point neither of them had an idea just how personal they were. “When Finn came into my life, I told Ben I can’t do this anymore and he-”

“He says here, dated a month ago in the chat that he had cut contacts with all the women and has not practised the art since then.” Finn finished the sentence looking up to Rey.

A month ago. Sidewalk. That sounded like her Ben.

The Ben who had smiled at Rey, pet her head gently when she cried because the stapler was not working correctly and the papers looked uneven. Her Ben, who on the way to work one day nearly rode over a dog, but stopped just in time and proceeded to foster the animal for two weeks until one of his friends took him. “Little Johnny” Ben called him. 

But it was also her Ben who left her on the side of the street…that was a broken man…a scared man, nonetheless hers. He was just as afraid that she would leave him as she was that he would abandon her so at the end he had decided to walk away first.

He wasn’t a monster who wanted to crush her for his entertainment. Ben Solo was a mirror of her own broken self. Rey understood now.

“I don’t know what he told you to make you believe he doesn’t – Rey!”

“I have to go!” she ran clumsily towards the door, putting on her sneakers.

“Rey, where are you going?!” Poe ran after her.

“I have to see him!”

“And what will you tell him?! He’ll kill us!”

“The truth…I love him, Poe and he can’t hide from it anymore.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've made this far, thank you <3  
> This is my first fic on here so it makes me nervous to post but I did my best.  
> You can follow me on Twitter:  
> [DriverVelvets](https://twitter.com/drivervelvets)


	6. The camellia and the hyacinth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey needed Ben to show her who he was – partially because it will almost be like bearing of his soul and partially because the idea of dominant Ben Solo made her drip down her legs. 
> 
> “Rey…”
> 
> “You said anything. Honour it.” A small smile tugged unconsciously on Rey’s lips. She finally had him. He was here. He liked her as much as she did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! We are here! Finally!
> 
> Feast filth my children (lovely), but FILTH!

Floor thirteen, she didn’t remember the apartment, but if it was necessary Rey would ring every bell in the god damn building.

Turned out it really wasn’t hard. Just like every single thing about him, Ben’s door was different than the other beige, hotel-suit like oak ones. It was dark chocolate mahogany with a gold handle. She rang the bell impatiently. Again and again until - 

“What are you doing here?” Ben’s hand, resting on the door frame, his shirt clinging tightly to the muscles on his chest. “It’s really late kid. I may have dismissed you but I still have work tomorrow.” He was looking at her flushed face with the stoic expression of a tired adult.

How could she possibly explain what was she doing there, when she herself didn’t know. Her legs had brought her, her heart had guided her and there she was. That was it. As simple as that.

“Why are you like this? Why are you pushing me away? Why do you deny this?” her small hand extended pointing in between them bringing clear attention to what he had done last time they were having a serious conversation. 

“Rey…” he was at loss of words, looking her up and down, a dilemma arising in his eyes.

She had run till here, forgot her coat at Finn and Poe’s, feeling the urge to ask him everything she had put away for a month. There was no dilemma in her eyes.

“If…If you don’t like me, say it again like you did on the sidewalk and I’ll leave! Say that I make you uncomfortable now that I know everything! Look me in the eyes and say it again!” Rey was concentrated not to let her emotions take the wheel, her heart threatening to jump out of its place. Ben stood still and quiet. “I knew it. You know, I cried rivers because of you! And the worst part was I was completely sure I am over you! Then I find out nothing of what you told me in front of the café is true! I hear about everything that has happened to you and I know, I know I shouldn’t have but I cried! I cried for you! I wanted to find you and hold you and tell you that this is not me! I am not that terrible woman! I am not going to leave you the way you left me!” her small fists landed gently on his chest. “You took my choice away! I should’ve been the one to decide if I can handle you or not! You cannot just decide to ‘protect me’ and ‘shield me’ because I am a big girl! I can make my own decisions!” This feeling was familiar – bottling up all of her feelings until they just explode in their recipients face. Hot tears were gathering at the corners of her eyes. “Say something!”

He stood still, avoiding to look at her face.

“You lied to me! Then you try to smear it with half a truth, but it doesn’t make it less of a lie, Ben! For what?! If I wasn’t important to you…why?! Why would you lie to me about who you are when you yourself told me who you really are! Why?! Say! Something!” tears pricked the corners of her eyes her fists repeatedly landing angry on his chest.

The deep chuckle that erupted from his chest froze her in her tracks. So after confessing, he just laughed? He would just mock her? After everything that had happened he had the audacity to laugh?! Prick.

Ben’s hand wrapped around Rey’s arm, pulling her inside, closing the door, proceeding to pin her body tightly between him and the door. His breath on her neck, made her realize how close they were to the edge of the cliff their relationship was.

“You want me to say something?!” his breathing was ragged, heavy, eyes dark and wild with an emotion Rey could not recognize. “I told you to stop playing with fire. I told you to stay away. I told you I don’t mix my professional and personal life. I managed to find the most awful words to try and keep you away for as long as possible. I took you choice away from you?! Rey, I don’t want you to fix me because I am not something that can be fixed! I don’t like you, I don’t want you?! My head got so filled with you for my own sake, for the sake of keeping my sanity alive, I pushed you away, but no! I went crazier! All the ‘little girls’ I had got thrown out because there was only one little girl on my mind. You chased me even in my dreams! When I left you at that fucking sidewalk, I cried too!” he was so close, the heat of their bodies pulled them even closer. His forehead was lightly touching her, keeping her close enough to make sure she was real, she wasn’t just another dream that was bound to turn into a nightmare “Why are you here when you know what I can do to you? I lied to you, did everything I know to keep you away from me. Even lied to myself just how drunk I am on every single thought of you. I don’t like you, Rey. I’m addicted to you and I’ve seen how love-addicted people act. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Ben…” his name came out as a soft moan, almost a purr.

“I’ll do anything you want. Do you know how much this scares me? Anything you want. You only have to name it.” His breath was already on her lips, it would take the slightest touch, breeze and they will meet in a symphony. His hand had let go of the door to hold her waist, but again really lightly in case she was as fragile as china and actually break in his attempt to keep her all to himself.

“Show me the room Poe told me about…” she knew what she wanted, she knew what she needed from him. Finally, she had the power to demand it.

Rey needed Ben to show her who he was – partially because it will almost be like bearing of his soul and partially because the idea of dominant Ben Solo made her drip down her legs. 

“Rey…”

“You said anything. Honour it.” A small smile tugged unconsciously on Rey’s lips. She finally had him. He was here. He liked her as much as she did.

Yes, that was painful. It probably wasn’t the healthiest of confessions, but it seemed like now they finally clicked. The Camellia of passion and the Hyacinth of playfulness, always so close to each other in the garden, never actually touching, were finally one. Like they were always meant to be.

“God, you’re perfect.”

His lips found hers so quickly, she couldn’t register it. His teeth were tugging lightly on her lower lip, demanding an answer. She picked up the signal, grabbing on luscious raven locks, while his hand tightened around her waist to pick her up from the ground and move towards the guest bedroom.

Rey’s smalls legs wrapped around him like a long-forgotten habit had been awakened. 

Ben tasted like mint, whiskey with cola and a hint of tobacco. It was delicious, intoxicating so much she had to pull away to moan and take a breath.

The guest bedroom was right next to his own. Ben’s hand naturally reached for the handle, walking backwards, while Rey’s hand closed the door, letting go of his neck.

Their lips separated. French windows covered half of the room that had an otherwise irregular shape. The bed was positioned exactly in the middle, facing the charming night sky and city lights. On her left was a giant sub-room, probably the guest bathroom. And on her right…was a plain black wall. In front of it, an odd-looking white drawer that otherwise did not fit the aesthetic of the whole place was resting.

“This is too nice to be a guestroom.” Nice one, good observation Rey. Absolutely read the room.

“This is my bedroom, dummy.” She met the all-knowing smirk. It was no mistake they were here.

“But…the room…Poe said…”

“Poe can go to hell. Yes, I will hurt you physically the same way I would’ve done in the other room, you have to realize that” he was once again so close, they were magnets, their energies not allowing them to be too far from each other “and agree to it. I’m not gentle. But will I fuck you where I’ve fucked people I don’t care about? No. I’ve waited too long to do this and I’ll do it only here.”

Rey could sense the unease in him, he wanted her to give in to him, but he was also afraid to push more in case she might run away instead. He saw her as too fragile to handle what he was so desperate to give her. 

“Show me then.”

His eyes hooded, the last drop of indecisiveness left his eyes. A cold shiver ran through Rey’s body, it got too intense for her to look him straight, so she opted for the plain wall. 

“I need you to choose a safe word in case you feel any discomfort, pain or generally anything you don’t like.”

She had heard of safe words once or twice when her friends had talked about how they didn’t use them, but she never cared enough to listen attentively enough so that she could choose one now.

“What do you think about ‘no’?” 

Ben chuckled lightly.

“No baby, it cannot be no or any other word that consciously is associated with sex speech or a basic word such as yes or not, because I can ask you a question and if you say no the-”

“then you wouldn’t know which no is it.”

“Precisely.” 

“How about ‘sky’ then?” 

“That sounds better. Are you sure about it?” he was offering her a warm look, stroking his thumb gently on her cheek like he was admiring her innocence.

She nodded, content with her choice, offering him an equally loving smile.

He turned around, taking a key out of his pocket, opening the peculiar drawer, retrieving something that Rey could not make out from the shadows.

“Can I…ask questions?” he closed it back, revealing a pink rope in his hand.

“Yes, of course. Anything you want to know.” He walked behind her, towering over her small body. She had never felt as small as she had now. Her head reached a little under his chin, which aligned her close enough to hear his heartbeat. It was really calm unlike hers that felt like it was running hundred miles per hour.

His fingertips found the nape of her neck. They slid ever so slightly along it. He was exploring, taking his time, she was not going anywhere. And they both knew that. 

Eventually the spaghetti straps of her dress had a confrontation with his path of exploration, so they were pushed to the side, the heavy satin material falling on the ground. Cold air hit Rey’s now almost naked body, perking her nipples, hardening the buds.

Yes, she knew her breasts were small but given the rest of her body was also pretty lean and just as small, it helped give them a little bit of shape. Despite her concern about the size of her boobs Ben didn’t seem to mind it one bit, like he didn’t even notice she was almost naked, his concentration was solely on his exploration mission. 

The further his hands touched down her arms, the cloudier and difficult she found to concentrate on anything other than what he was currently giving her. The sensation wrapped tightly around her body, sticking closely to every fibre.

“You had a question, little one? What was it?” his voice was no louder than a whisper yet she heard it so loud and clear, so close to her, his low timber travelled from her head to her heat in an instant.

Ben was teasing Rey, testing, how long can she act like the big girl she constantly claimed she was.

“Uhm…yes…I meant to ask if you use such…” was the rope a toy? “toys on all of the submissives that have been here?”

“No. I told you already, you’re the first one here.” His journey had come to an end when he reached for her wrists, grabbing them in both hands, crossing them behind her back, while proceeding to hold them comfortably in one.

“I see.”

“Don’t move and don’t whine that it’s tight, it’s supposed to be. Clear?”

“Yes, sir.” She practically wanted to find reasons to say the rank again and again in his ear.

He looped the rope behind her neck, bringing it between her arms and behind her back again, tying a knot at there before bringing it at the front again, dividing it in two parts.

“What is the rope for?” Ben continued to work with the pink material tying the two ends in a complicated cross in front of the chest, leaving her boobs wrapped around it.

“It’s called shibari, princess. It’s an erotic art using a special type of rope that will not leave you bleeding if you move too much in it. Of course I can use another rope that will leave pretty ugly stings, however as of now my goal is not to punish you. Its purpose is to restrict your movements, while difficult knots such as the one in front of your chest, play more of an aesthetic role.” He looped the rope around her hands tightly, making her unable to move them anymore. “To make it simple, you’re my rope bunny. I tie the ropes around you, restrict you any way I like and then give you the greatest pleasure you’ve ever experienced. For tonight I won’t tie your legs, because you’re still a baby, but one day you’ll come beg me to do it yourself.” He was so cocky and she was so wet, it just didn’t make any sense.

“Why would you want to restrict my movements?”

Everything about this world made her so curious. She wanted to ask him so many things, while also wanting him to never stop talking with that low raspy voice, soaked in desire.

A dark chuckle erupted from his chest.

“I like your questions, they’re refreshing. You’re so naïve.” Ben pushed her just a little, Rey lost her balance and fell straight on her stomach on the bed. She couldn’t get up, the only thing she could do is roll over on her back, but that was it. “The simplest reason is that I really don’t have one. I wanted to do so many things to you since we first met so I just had to choose somewhere to start. I’m introducing you to my world by taking away your ability to provoke me. All the times your little hands” he grabbed the back of the ropes pulling her up on her knees, back facing him. “touched mine and I had to do everything in my power to just go through it. But you did it again and again and again. When we were back at my parents the first day, I felt like I wanted to destroy you then and there. Not caring that my parents might hear, what your parents might think, what anyone as a matter of fact might say, just grab you, take you to my room, throw you on your bed and fuck the living shit out of you until you pass out in my arms. I thought I will have to lie to you to keep you away. You’re so young, so good. People would think “What is a delicate flower like her doing with a brute like him?” and they would be right. I didn’t want to be an embarrassment for you. But then you come here, look at me and tell me “Have me” and this is where my powers finish princess. I can’t run away anymore. You win. You want me? This is the darkest part of me. I’m still holding back and being rather nice. My simple request is don’t provoke me because I can get really sadistic, cynical, rude. I have always been all of these things, but that was because I had no attachment to any woman except for Nicole and that was long ago before I lived here and in that case I was in your place. The toys in this room have not been used by absolutely anyone. No one deserved for me to put effort into being a real dom, let alone allow them into my own personal bedroom. But now you’re here and I swear to every last demon inside of me, I’ll wreck you, angel.”

Rey was speechless, she couldn’t say anything, she didn’t need to. He was talking behind her, yet his aura was so deeply rooted inside of the room that she felt like she was seeing him. Her cunt had gotten so wet, so eager for Ben do to something, to touch her already that there was a little pool on the mattress. 

“Then do it.” She knew she would never in her life ever again say something with as much confidence as she had uttered this one sentence.

And so all she felt before her face met the mattress was Ben’s strong hand pushing her upper body down while perking her ass in his face. The all mesh, pink thong with little white flowers she was wearing had darkened from the wetness that at this point had been dripping down her legs.

“So beautiful. So wet. All from a little speech, princess? Well, I did surely do my best but that” she felt Ben’s nose breathe in closely to her underwear, which made her blush in thousand shades of red. “that’s a big reward for it. As pretty as these are though you won’t be needing them.”

His hand wrapped around the wet material, his knuckles brushing against her sensitive slit, causing a moan as light as a feather to escape her lips.

“Oh, what a pretty noise can the little one make.” He tugged on the flimsy material and Rey couldn’t even realize how the mesh had torn apart and was hanging loosely in Ben’s hand.

“Now that’s such a beautiful sight. Such an incredibly beautiful soaked, naughty angel.” Shy from the compliment Rey tried to keep her legs as close to one another as possible in an attempt not to feel even more exposed and lewd than she felt right now. “Oh no. You are not doing that.” He kneeled, a strong hold separated her legs keeping them in place. “You’re not hiding from me.”

His lips started to trail from under her ass, up and down her legs, while missing the one place where she needed him the most. He circled from one leg to the other, really slow, really soft, driving Rey to the brink of madness.

“Please…” her voice was quiet, needy. She felt his lips tugging in a smirk on her skin. He was having fun, he wanted to drive her mad.

“What was that? Couldn’t quite catch it.” 

“Please.”

“Please…what?” he continued peppering kisses not minding her struggle one bit.

“Please touch me.” This had to be enough for him to get the hint.

“I am touching you.” Rey wanted to scream in frustration. Why was he like that?!

“Touch me where I need you.” 

“Where do you need me baby?”

Rey had never once in her life wanted something so bad and truly didn’t care what it took to achieve what she wanted.

“Everywhere.” It was the truth. She did need him everywhere he could be.

“Where Rey, say it.” He was once again hovering above her, but this time bent over, close to her ear. “Say it and I’ll do it.”

“On my cunt. Please.” She cried out quietly loud enough only for Ben to hear.

She could really hear the smirk in his voice “Your wish is my command.”

Several things happened at the same time throwing Rey in a state of shock. His hand delivered a strong smack on her left ass cheek as his lips came in contact with her clit, her shout turned into a moan and his chuckle vibrated through her body. Her legs were shaking, yet refused to buckle to the mattress allowing Ben to have full control of his movements.

He wasn’t play around anymore. Very slowly his tongue flattened on her. Rey had never had a man eat her out. Most of them were selfish lovers, always expecting her to do all the job. And in college she did, maybe because she wanted to feel validated, she couldn’t really pinpoint the reason, but it sure as hell did not matter right now when Ben Solo was eating her out, sucking at a measured pace. Her breath got lost in her chest and a delicious, loud moan came out instead. One that has suffocated her for so long.

“Uhm, you like that kitten? I bet you do.”

“You…you’re the first one to do it.” It was barely a whisper, her voice at that moment.

“What?! Are you a-” for a very brief moment Ben Solo’s control seemed like it was shaking at its core.

“No! No. Just no boy has eaten me out…never time for me, always time for them. So just, misogyny I guess, not that I didn’t put up with it willingly.” She couldn’t see the way Ben’s brows furrow.

“See this is a difference between a frat boy,” he licked a stripe along her clit “a college kid who had read 50 shades of grey once” this time the licks were small and several “and an experienced dominant” she felt him take her by the ropes, turning her on her back allowing Rey to take a close look at his sharp features. He wasn’t looking at her with cold eyes, the way she imagined dominants did. No. They were playful, with a hint of gentleness that Rey could appreciate, given the rather unfamiliar circumstances she put herself in. “is that experienced doms know they have to maneuver around what their baby needs and wants and adjust their desires to their submissives and not the other way around.”

His hands found her hips, pulled her closer and dove right back into her but this time it was more aggressive, a little merciless even. His tongue licked in several different directions, switching between them with ease. Rey tried to escape by wiggling around, the new sensation in combination with the experienced way he moved overwhelmed her senses. Ben answered by strengthening his hold on each of her thighs, his hands surely were going to leave a mark, not that she minded even a tiny bit. Out of nowhere his lips started sucking on her clit, biting it lightly after each suck, causing Rey to scream. Unlike before Ben didn’t stop to throw a sassy remark. Instead he opted for small kitten licks on the pearl of the clit.

The familiar knot that had been tightening in her lower abdomen for a while, was on its way to get untangled right on Ben Solo’s tongue. He gave out the signs of a man wishing to achieve just that. She tried to wiggle away again, escape from being brought to the edge on his tongue alone. With one last kitten lick, Ben just said: 

“Cum.” his guttural, gravelly voice whose vibrations penetrate the membrane of her skin, travelled through her veins, settling comfortably in her heart that was already beating like crazy. 

Not only did she cum on command, his name became a mad prayer, rolling off her tongue again and again. His lips stayed there for a while riding her high with him.

“Good girl. Breathe. Deep breathes. That’s it. In and out.” His hand was soothing along her stomach.

He got up, letting go off her legs, that fell down unable to support Rey’s weight any further.

“That-” she couldn’t focus on anything other than him. “Was phenomenal.”

“And I’m about to do so much more.”

His eyes weren’t gentle anymore but rather predatory, ready to devour her whole. His lips and chin were glistening with saliva and cum. She was unable to look away. The curiosity was overwhelming each of her rational senses. Anything he wanted to show her, tell her, every way he could have her, Rey was down for. She had all the time in the world to be fucked by him. It felt more comfortable being here tied up with him than any sex for the last four years.

“Do I make you shy, baby? Seeing yourself on my lips? Get used to it, we’ll do it often.”

It didn’t make her shy strangely enough. She wanted to answer, to disobey, to tease him as much as he did.

“Nope. What if I…” dragged the response on purpose “don’t want you to be the one to do it?”

Whatever was left after he licked his lips was wiped with the back of his hand, smearing it a little on his cheek, smiling mischievously.

“Are you sure you want to play this game, little one? I told you not to provoke me and just enjoy the ride.”

“I have no idea what provoking you are talking about. I asked a simple question.”

He grabbed her by the ankles pulling her closer to him, keeping her legs open by putting his knee between them rubbing her still sensitive clit on the rough jean material.

“You want to be treated like a naughty girl, princess? You lie and tease me? I can show you how they get treated?”

His lips found hers again. She eagerly answered him, to keep up with his speed, to bite the same way he was attempting to bite her. Once their tongues clashed Rey tested herself on him, her heart running crazy. He pulled away whispering:

“You’re too easy to trick.”

Her feet were cuffed to the lower frame of the bed with what seemed like ribbons. Opposite to the expected sensation though the material they were made of seemed unescapable. Ben managed to distract her with kisses enough to restraint her legs!

“How-?! Why!” she started wiggling around, the ropes tightening around her shoulders, burning her skin. 

“This is how bad girls get treated, little one.” His hand was touching lightly the lower of region of her stomach. “I promised I’ll demonstrate you what happens to them.”

A sharp, quick smack was delivered to her pussy that caused Rey to scream.

“Shhh or I’ll have to gag you too, baby.” Rey shut her mouth. She didn’t want to be gagged. At least not right now.

He walked back to the drawer, pulling out a violet item resembling a small vibrator, she recognized as a bullet and something black, Rey supposed to was the remote for the bullet. High-quality, wireless ones of this toy had always been super expensive and not something Rey could afford. Despite, wanting one, there was no one that was willing to play that game with her. Not a random flat boy for sure. And now Ben Solo was going to do it with her. This surely was her day.

“I thought I just made you cum, why are you dripping again?” he shook his head mockingly.

“Because I know what you’re going to do!”

“Oh, you do?”

He put the small, sleek toy in front of her lips. She licked it, before any instructions had been given.

“Ah, you do.” After some time, he pulled it off her lips, gently pushing a finger in her heat, to stretch her out enough so the vibrator would settle comfortably between her legs. She didn’t feel full by any means, but still it made her giddy, anticipatory of when the vibrations will start.

Rey watched Ben’s face closely, awaiting. Ben tilted his head quietly, smiled with hands in his pockets, walked away from the bed towards the door. Faint and pleasant vibrations awakened her body. She sighed ever so lightly, keeping her composure.

Then she heard it. The door closing, Ben leaving.

“Ben? Ben!”

Rey started wiggling around like crazy trying to get up. Where did he go? Why did he leave her alone in here? She could use her stomach to get up and check. But even if she did, her hands and legs were tied, there was nowhere to go. The only thing left to do was relax. He’ll come back at some point, he had to. This gives her the chance to come undisturbed on a very expensive vibrator. That was certainly a bright side of it. Yes, she didn’t need Ben. Rey just had to convince herself of that.

She needed the remote though. In a very short period of time the vibrations weren’t pleasant anymore, just frustrating. They weren’t strong enough to make her cum. Neither were they low enough to be ignored. Here went nothing. Still, she was too proud to call out to him. Yet.

With the ticking of the clock however, the sensation had become more and more abrasive. With no other solution, she felt ready to give up now. He was right. In this bedroom, she’ll need him if she wished to ever feel herself come again.

“I take my words back! Ben! Come back! Please! Please!! I’ll be a good girl! I’ll listen! Please, just turn up the frequency!” she shouted, hoping he heard.

On the other side of the door, steps echoed through the hall, followed by opening of the door.

Ben walked in looking distinctly different from when he walked out. The jeans - shirt combo, still lingering from working overtime, had been changed to a plain pair of black sweats. His golden Rolex, shining on his left hand, resting in his pocket holding onto the remote and the three golden rings on the right holding a glass of whiskey with ice, could probably on their own throw her over the edge. He sat on the small couch directly against the bed blocking any chances of her seeing him. Yet, she was spread all nice in front of his eyes.

“Are you okay, sweetheart? You look rather blushed.” 

Rey heard the ice moving. Maybe he was taking a sip? 

“The vibrations! Higher!” her neck pushed her head enough so she could see him while hissing through teeth barely able to compose herself.

“Is this how you ask nicely?” the derisive smile plastered on his face dropped. “Beg.”

“Fuck!” Rey silently shout irritated “Please! Please…I understand now! You can make me come even if you are not here! I get it! Please! I take my words back! Pleaseee…” her voice broke at the end in what she could only describe as a cry in frustration.

For one second the vibrations intensified immensely before going back to the really low frequency. Tears formed in Rey’s eyes, a really loud groan ripped from her chest. All she wanted him to give her the release she craved so bad.

“Daddy, please!”

Her eyes snapped open, her mouth shut immediately, the vibrations stopped abruptly. The fuck did she think?! She didn’t think at all! And now Ben will kick her out. Poe warned her never to call him that even if something ever happened between them. He hated being called daddy! It made him feel more responsible than he wanted to be. Fuck, fuck, Rey, you’re an idiot!

She couldn’t see him anymore her neck wasn’t able to support her. She also didn’t want to right now.

“What did you say?” his voice was thick with emotions that were far greater than Rey could ever understand.

“Nothing. I’m sorry. Ben, I am so-” her heart was beating so loud it was the only noise she heard.

“Say it again.” 

“Ben-”

“Call me that again, Rey.” 

“But Poe said-” she didn’t want him to kick her out!

The sound of glass meeting glass suggested he put the whiskey on the table, getting up from the couch, walking towards her. 

The bed dipped. Ben hovered above her his raven locks falling down on his face, his eyes – unreadable.

“I didn’t stutter, Rey. Say. It. Again.” His voice was low, dangerous, leaving no room for disobedience.

“Da-” her voice trembled, she couldn’t find it in her not to do exactly what he wanted. “Daddy.”

“Again.” His hands reached for the cuffs restraining her legs, unlocking them.

“Daddy…” there she went. He was kicking her out.

He took her by the ropes, turning her on her stomach, untying the knot at her hands, slowly untangling the whole rope, throwing it on the ground. After that he turned her on her back and she finally found the strength to look in his eyes.   
Taking her hands in one of his, putting them above her head, Ben attacker her neck, sore and extremely sensitive from where the rope had tugged earlier. Quiet moans filled Ben’s ears and he seemed to enjoy them a lot.

“You really here to drive me to the edge. Do you even realise how fucked up I am on you that a single word I’ve despised for so long, now sounds almost beautiful coming out of you?”

His fingers found her cunt, pumping two inside, without preparation or hesitation, setting a steady rhythm moving them from all the way in to all the way out, switching to short pumps at the top of her walls, reaching that one exact spot. The one spot that her brain couldn’t translate into a proper emotion.

“Yes, I think I do understand.”

“God, you’re so beautifully naïve.” He bit the spot on her neck that had been sucked on until then. Her walls tightened around his fingers. Just a little more…and his fingers were out. With his fingers, her impending orgasm was cut short, leaving her grasping to catch it, but she never did.

The most desperate cry ever suffocated Rey’s throat.

“No! No, no no…wh...why?!” she tried to struggle out of his grasp, to let her hands free so she could stuff his face back between her legs.

“Don’t throw a temper tantrum or you’ll go over my knee! It will build up inside your belly until I tell you, you can cum.” A harsh slap was delivered to the inside of her thigh, making her once more wiggle in his hands.

“I’ll do what I want! Why did you do it?!”

“Because you are a spoiled brat.” His whole tone was one big mockup of her.

“I won’t beg anymore.” She was mad, angry, frustrated with him. How could he?

“I’m not asking you what you’ll do. You said you want to get to know this me. This is the part where daddy opens your legs and punish your brattiness. You’ll come on my cock little one, when I tell you.”

For a split second he looked at her whole, especially her eyes, evaluating if he’s actually pushing it. He was not. Rey enjoyed that as masochistic as it was. She enjoyed being denied her orgasm, being called a naughty, spoiled brat. As if to reassure him, she gave him a really small nod. It was all he needed.

“Do I need a condom?”

“No. Birth control.”

“Good.” He let go of her hands. “Don’t try moving them around or else I’ll restrain them again. Turn around and perk your ass for me. Keep that pretty face on the mattress.”

Rey found herself carefully obeying every order he gave.

“Baby, I really don’t understand how you get wetter and wetter even though you came once already.” Painfully slow a finger was swiped down her cunt, leading to her let out a low breathy sound. His warm finger touching her already very sensitive pussy surely made her lose her mind. “I won’t even need lube. I can just settle right in.”

“You made it wet.” It sounded so ridiculous that sentence coming out of her lips, her hands hid her face.

“Hands up, Rey. Don’t make me punish you.”

He didn’t punish her, instead pushed in her, slowly penetrating. Even after so much fore-play she was still too tight for him.

He was gentle. Slow, stopping, giving her time to adjust to the length and girth before continuing. By the time he was fully inside of her, Rey had never felt so full in her life.

“You...can…move.”

With that sentence she let out the unsteady breath that she caught herself catching in until her was inside.

His movements started off calculated in order to ease her before he pushes into her with force. Her body relaxed under his touch, a tad too much as the slow thrusts brought her a feeling of familiarity, she expected them, enjoyed them. 

Suddenly Ben landed a painful slap on her ass, kneading it in his hands afterwards, holding her in place as the pace quickened, the thrusts became shorter and deeper. 

“One day soon, when you want,” he reached for her hair, pulling her up by it, catching her waist with one of his hands, sticking her against him so his lips met her ear “Daddy will make love to you. He’ll let you ride him for as long as you want at any lazy speed you like. But for now,” he picked up his speed, reaching the same spot his fingers managed to and further. “I promised I’ll fuck you till you pass out in my arms baby girl and something tells me you are very close to that point.”

Rey’s small hands reached for Ben’s free one grabbing onto it, settling it around her throat.

“I didn’t want to push you for that yet.”

“You-” she had to breathe after each word “Go…tooo…gentle on me!”

“I do what?” his voice was loud, clear, controlling. “So this is what I get for being considerate with you, you spoiled, lewd brat.” His hand tightened around her neck. The air inside her lungs got stuck and his thrusts became aggressive. The blood rushed to her head, it made her feel light, more aware of the fact she was once again on the edge to come for him.

“Not yet. Keep it inside until I say.”

“Please, I want you to fill me up! Please! I want to come with you. I’ll be your good girl! Daddy, please!”

He was also quickly approaching his edge. It was clear by the way he moved. The controlled pace gave in to a more emotional, erratic one, his hands had let gone off her waist and neck, opting to hold her hands tightly and fuck her into the mattress instead.

“You can’t be a truly good girl. Your mouth is too snarky.”

“Can daddy fix that?” Rey was speaking in a way she had never done once in her life, finally let gone of all useless facades. She just wanted to be fucked silly and fall sleep in Ben’s arms. That’s all. The corners of her lips rose upwards in a lazy smile as his thrusts gained even more power.

“Oh, we’ll fix it, princess. I promise you that, but right I want you to come for me.”

His thrusts got too fast, too strong for Rey to bear anymore and with one silent scream, the wave of her orgasm crashed through her body to Ben’s. He followed soon after, filling her up to the brim. She had never allowed anyone to have sex with her without a condom, let alone cum inside her, yet anything Ben wanted to do to her she was down for. 

Rey’s legs, hands, her whole body and soul did not have the capacity to keep her afloat anymore. The moment he pulled out she fell flat on the bed, half-conscious, as the come coming out dripped down her cunt onto the bed.

“I’m…sorry for the...sheets.” She could barely talk, barely move, let alone get up.

“Shh...rest, I’ll clean you up. Come here.”

Groaning, she turned on her back extending her hands for Ben to help her get up. Instead he grabbed her and picked her up in bridal manner.

“Au, jeez, a gentleman. Do you do this for all of them or-”

“I do this only for you, princess. I thought I made that abundantly clear.”

“I like ‘little one’ better.”

He put her down in the tub, turning on the warm water to fill it. Ben was chuckling, being cheerful. It was good seeing him so happy. And it was even better knowing she was the reason why. So much so, slowly Rey regained her energy.

“And I like daddy the best.” She smirked at him.

“I see that, but please don’t overdo it. There is only that much I can take.” He bent over to slightly peck her lips. “Do you have any big bruises? Does it hurt anywhere?”

“Nope. I think I’m okay. Just really sore. I don’t know how I’ll sit down at work tomorrow.”

“Maybe you can ask your boss for a day off. I’ve heard he is a pretty chill dude.”

“Yeah, very chill. He breaks pencils as if they are toothpicks and fucks really good.”

“Oh, sounds like a real boyfriend material to me.” He chuckled.

“He is.” She nodded looking at him.

They didn’t explicitly state this is the beginning of their relationship, but it seemed satisfying enough for both parties to be counted as one. 

If only Rey knew then the adventures this man was going to submit her to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've made this far, thank you <3  
> I would love to hear your opinions in the comments and on my Twitter below.  
> [DriverVelvets](https://twitter.com/drivervelvets)

**Author's Note:**

> If you've made this far, thank you <3  
> I would love to hear your opinion in the comments or DM me on my socials.  
> You can follow me on Twitter:  
> [DriverVelvets](https://twitter.com/drivervelvets)


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